just me myself and i

Bored.

2011-01-24T13:33:00.003+08:00

hello!! it's been donkey months since i've last blog like again. Well first of all I want to state here is. WTF is wrong with this girl call ROSALYN PEH! this random girl msg me in fb telling me that my ex jw still love me and then I was the one who is the caused of their r/s??!!! wtf is she talking about?? like hello?? this guy JW is nothing to me already. He is the past of my life. HISTORY!!! get it?? I dun care whether he likes me or not. That's his problem. I've already moved on SO SHOULD HE! What is her problem man!! seriously. Crazy bitch. Thank goodness I have my girllfriends in class to cheer me up man. Esp hui ying and azura. Funny ladies.. =D but anyways I just want to blog this here big and clear. WHETHER YOU GUYS OUT THERE LIKE IT OR NOT. I HAVE NO MORE THINGS RELATED TO THIS GUY YANG JUNWEI ALRIGHT! I NEVER EVER REGRET MY DECISION. NEVER EVER. I'M VERY HAPPY WITH MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. SO DON'T COME AND FIND ME ANY TROUBLE FOR NOTHING. GO ON AND LIVE WITH YOUR MISERABLE LIFE!!! MOVE ON MAN!! WA PIANG HOW OLD ALREADY STILL ACT LIKE SMALL KID. NB.. REALLY MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SLAPPING YOU SIA!! Enough of my rantings I'm so sick and tired of this person like TTM! I dun even feel like talking about you anymore. Fuck off from my life!

helllooo~~~

2010-11-20T00:23:00.002+08:00

well just finish a game of dota. So sad keep losing can't win. Esp the last game I shouldn't have used sniper... -.-'' Any hoo i saw the news on stomp. Was shocked to see that there is another case of slashing teens again. That's crazy man. I wonder if this is a trend for teens to bring parangs around and keep slashing people. All this people really have nothing better to do. I can't imagine if I were to encounter such things. I would be petrified and dun even know what to do. But CHOY! I dun wish to see such things in front of me.

Today is maths day. Totally hate it. Starting it was so confusing. Then after faci's help I manage to understand today's problem. It was kinda easy when I know how to do. Haha~ Tmr I'm going dating with my baby! Wow~~~ after such a long long time it's like finally we're going tmr. Well we are going to spend our 7th month out tmr as the actual day we have school. I can't wait for my birthday celebration at MBS! =D I hope I'll enjoy myself there and have a happy time there. So excited man!! I really miss all my friends and that is where I can meet all of them. Hahaha! good thing about birthdays huh?

sigh... I'm feeling hungry now and I'm running out of ideas what to blog about. =.='' LOL guess what my boyfriend just asked me ''rj xie bu gou ar? (you haven't had enough of writing rj?) " I was like no... rj and blog different.. LOL~~ but kinda true because after every module we have to reflect on what we have learn. Some times the questions are so hard that it becomes so annoying to answer. Hmm... I wonder if I should watch megamind. Heard that it is a funny show. Oh well I shall see.. =) alright shall stop here... tata!

A really long time.

2010-11-17T15:08:00.006+08:00

It's been a really really long long time since I've blog! =x oh man!! poor blog of mine been rotting for ages. =x alright I've lots to blog about. But then again everyone who is in facebook do know what my life is been too.. Well lots of change since last june or july. =) I've been to new school, learning new things and stressing at the same time. My life totally changed too. As in I think I've found the perfect guy in my life. I'm always whinning about my looks and size. Well till now yes. But I've seen someone who is with me now really do accept me for who I am. I'm really very happy to have this guy in my life. As you all know his name is Alvin Low Yong Wee. =) yes you baby. I'm so in love with you, you know. =)

The most surprising part is my family members all take a liking to him. Esp my parents which I really didn't expect that to happen. But he is a really good boy. Though he's younger than me but he knows how to think maturely. This mature thinking of him is the culprit that captured my heart. As all of you know that I won't date a guy who is younger than me. But..... I didn't expect myself to be so attracted and falling madly in love with this boy who happens to be 2 years younger than me. I remembered when I first broke the news to my friends all of them was shocked. =) hahas... that's right shocked why? not because I had many ex-es but because he is my first boyfriend to be younger than me. >.< hahas! They were all like ''Are you serious?'' because I really insisted on not having a boyfriend who is younger than me as my impression of them is younger = unmatured so a big nono. =) But I was wrong I've decided to take this big change in my life. And now I see seriously that I wasn't wrong to make this decision. I was glad I did. Because no one showed me how you could actually loved someone so much that even your family could really like him as their daughter's boyfriend too.

It's really a big difference to see that when your family accepts your boyfriend or girlfriend you'll feel double loved. Both from your family and your partner. I'm really happy with my life right now that I feel that everyday my life is so beautiful. =) Okays alright I shall stop with my love story least you guys get bored. ^.^ Right now I'm studying in republic poly. I've realised that poly life is so much more stressful compared to ITE. I've always whine about how I wanted to get into poly so badly. But eventually I really miss ITE so much. I guess I really hated ITE environment that's why due to some reasons. But I seriously miss all my ITE friends so much. I miss all their nonsense I miss us all going to break together and also going home together. I miss all the fun we have together. ='( I hope I can dig out my spare time to go out with them again. I'm so busy with school and also so tired. Once school starts my schedules gets so hectic and I can even rest like as if I'm on a long vacation.

This December I have to help mum with the housework due to chinese new year spring cleaning. sigh... Then after that January come I need to study and get prepared for my UT3 which is the most important test to let me know if I can go to year 2 or not. I'm pretty afraid I can't make it because of the module that is so difficult for me to understand and pass it. Sigh.. But of course I'll try my best. I feel that in poly I can't have much time to spend it with my close friends. Why? Because during weekdays which is school day I won't go out as I finish school as late as 4pm. And by the time I travel home it's already 5 plus 6pm. I practically spend like almost 8 hours in school and I have no time for my personal time. So it's like I have my dinner watch a bit of tv then I'll head for bed. Then weekends I'll be so shag to go out and of course I'll spend it with my boyfriend. So I find it really hard to meet up with my buddies. So when it's holiday I'll make it a point to meet all of them. I'm so sorry guys that I can't spend time with you all. I hope you all understand okays! I still miss and love you guys.. =) oh well..

Alright it's 11.17pm and I'm having my test tmr. So I shall stop here and try to blog as often as I can okays? I so miss my darling (mei ling) right now! =) I miss her laughter I miss bullying her I miss everything about her! I'm glad I having my 21st birthday at MBS. I'm sorry if I didn't invite you guys because I'm just making a small party and it's a limited space to sleep over. But if you guys wanna come down do drop me a msg okays! alright I gotta go now. Bye! =)

back from MIA=ing!

2010-05-26T23:16:00.002+08:00

WOW!!! finally i'm back to blog... my blog has been rotting ages away~~~~ wooo hoooo~~~ =D well i guess there's lots to blog but i'm wayyyyyy tooo lazy to even do so... aii yooo!!! well all i can say is i'm doing well..... totally loving my class w14f!! and right now got myself a goody good boyfriend! and guess what? he's younger than me.. omg~!! seriously i was quite surprised that i would actually accept a guy younger than me when it's like a nono in liyan's dictionary... hahas... but so far we've been together fer 1 mth plus already... our r/s still stable.. though we've already seen our downs alrdy.. but i guess we will be able to treasure each another... oh well i just hope it won't be like any of it in the past.. some how or rather sometimes i still sort of regret why i was soo silly to do so much fer zien.. i would rather do it fer my baby now... at least he knows how to appreciate it...

oh well it's too late fer me to regret too.. but right now all i can say is i love my baby right now and i'm appreciating every single thing he has done fer me and i will definitely treasure him... and i seriously miss my ite classmates very much... and my best friends too! i need to arrange my schedule to meet them in june!!!! and yes w14f's chalet is coming up!! wooo hooo~~~ looking forward fer it!!! =D alright shall stop here... too lazy alrdy... nite nite! bye bye!! and yes it's last day of school tmr!!! woooo hooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

long time...

2010-04-21T20:47:00.002+08:00

well it's been really awhile since i've last blog.. hahas.. well forgot to announced but i guess most of you guys know i got into poly!! wooohooo!!! i got into RP... today is like my 5th day of school... having fun and stuffs.... well had made a few friends... all of them are cute and bubbly... but only 1 guy we know he is ''gorilla''... okays he was nicknamed by us larhz... because first he looks like one and secondly i guess he behaves like one?? hahaas... oh well... this guy seriously got issues larhz.... crazy one.. soo inmature and stuff... nv co-operate and stuff... irritating shit... i'm feeling soo damn exhausted but i can't sleep yet... why? stupid zien say want to get hp from me... but he go out... basket~~~=.='' anyways... it's been like a mth since his rejection.. the pain still lingers...

i can't say i'm totally healed... perhaps the schedule and timing now and stuff doesn't allows me to think so much about him... oh well.. at least i'm happy that he truly likes that girl and stuff.. but of course when he tell me stuffs about her i'll get hurt again... sigh... it's soo hard to find such a good guy but once found... he'll never be yours... super annoying... =.='' what i can say now is i want to work hard score well, and definitely aim for the best in my 3 years in poly... i hope i can do well and grad with a diploma... in fact i'm pretty proud of myself that i manage to get into poly and i never felt so happy before and of course right NOW no one dares to look down at me anymore... i've proven myself... =) alright shall go and bathe... very smelly after a whole day in school.. alright gotta bounce~~ tata!

never felt so pain.

2010-03-28T02:06:00.002+08:00

it's official... he has rejected me... he liked another girl... i'm just not even worth in his heart.. i just feeel a sudden pain in my heart... like so pain.. literally pain... did so much.. but it's really all in vain... 5 hours of doing the album.... thinking of wad gift i should get him.... it has all went to vain... surprise cake too... all has went to vain... i'm sad to say... i'm soo silly to liked a guy all this time who didn't liked me... not even a single bit... it's soo tormenting!!! i dun understand why guys can take it soo lightly... where as... why am i the only one soo stupid to put my whole heart into it??? everytime when i truly put my heart into it, it always comes crashing down straight to my face... why does this thing always happens??? i hate it... i hate my life! i hate being me! *Cries* i never felt soo rejected like anything... from today on... i'm going to start a new life... life has to go on no matter how painful it is... *cries*

so much hates.

2010-03-25T22:21:00.002+08:00

i hate it i hate it i hate it!!! i hate people accusing me!! i hate it!!! its so fucking irritating.... pretending they now me so well and thinks i'm that kind of person.... FUCKING SHIT!!!! i hate it because no fucking people understands wad i'm thinking or wad i'm planning... ESPECAILLY WHEN IT COMES TO STUDIES! no one is dare to give support or to encourage me to take the course i want... everything is being planned for me!!! soo what's the point of me to be living in this world... since i'm so useless and all then i shldn't be fucking born into this world... i really hate my useless pathetic life.. can someone please help me???? i just want to prove that i can be independent and all.. but my results i definitely not going to get me anywhere... no one encouages me... not even my family....

just feel so lonely sometimes...

i thought i could rely on HIM sometimes... but it's soo difficult.... HE told me that we could chat online today during HIS working hour.. even said we could webcam.... in the end.. HE was busy chatting with HIS friends ignoring me... like wtf.. take soo long to reply and stuff... i was very tired ytd after outing with my frns at pulau ubin and all.. but i still care fer HIM and thought of HIM and i purposely set my alarm so i could wake up and chat with HIM for 2 hrs... but it was fucking waste of my time and effort... i guess all guys are the same huh?? they go for looks of the girls and not the heart... no matter how much effort i've put in... it's never appreciated... i shld have not relied on HIM in the first place... i realise it's soo hard to get someone's love in return... not to mention about guy's love but family's love too... yea i know i can get wad i want in a way... but wad about support's love? wad about the family love when it comes to my future???

there's no love at all except look downs... they say this but they do another... it's soo hypocrite.... i hate it... really hate it... my head hurts i do not know why... but i've to start to prepare to face everything alone... i cannot rely on anybody anymore... no more!!! everything in my life is all fakes except for some... i'll have to work hard and get everything on my own... i hate my life... i just want to work hard earn my own $$ and i'll live on my own... all i can say is whoever is reading this you will never understand my pain and thoughts because you're not me.... and the only person who understands the true me is ME MYSELF AND I!

sigh...

2010-03-22T01:04:00.002+08:00

mr red has just passed away on 22 March 2010 at 1.04am... i guess he got dropsy and oso being traumatise... i nearly got a heart attack when i saw him flipping on the floor.. i can't imagine how he manage to jump out of the tank and landed on the floor.. i dunno how long he was out of the water... it's been like fer quite sometime... i did not realise till i picked up my piglet that i hang on my door from the floor then i accidentally kicked him and i realise it's mr red... my goodness.. he was gasping fer air... i was alrdy prepared he will be a goner soon... yap.. indeed.. just found him dead in the tank... but it was worse he had this white white thingy around his body... horrible sight... so i just disposed him into the plastic bag and threw him into the rubbish chute... his tank had a strong fishy smell... sigh... wad a day... well i shall blog again about HIS birthday celebration yesterday 20 march 2010 i'm glad HE liked my present.. =D

R.I.P mr blue.....

2010-02-28T03:19:00.003+08:00

today on 27 feb 2010 at 10.58 mr blue pass on... he died peacefully... first thing as usual told mr zi en... this kuku tell me something ask me go buy 4D lol.. okays larhz listen to his nonsense saying mr blue will bless me.... i really go buy... bought 2702 and 1058 wa stupid sat's draw 2702 sold out... so left with 1058... just now saw 4D basket!!! instead of 1058 they give me 0158 for consolation!! wa chui!!!! damn sad lor!!! never strike before in my life but i am looking forward to that kind of feeling lol! hahas.. =D today was boring.. people came my hse blar blar... and now here i am awake.. but at the same time going to bed soon.. have to wake up at 8.30 tmr... going over to regina's at 10am... oh well i can't wait till HIS bday.... i hope i can give HIM a memorable one... miss HIM very much.... ahh yes... feeeling happy today... it's been awhile since both of us laugh our ass out... really feel happy when i see HIM smile or hear HIM laugh... it makes me very happy.. =) alright i gotta go... shall blog again tmr if i have the time... nites all!

LIFE SUCKS!

2010-02-17T23:54:00.003+08:00

well well.. it' been awhile since i've last blog... anyways i've got my LOLLIPOP!!! hahas.. i bet you guys know it way before i blog it out here right?? hahas... yea thanks to facebook! hahas.. well nothing much to update.. but i think mr blue is going to leave me soon... the day i saw him started breathing very hard i cried... sigh.. he's diagnose with dropsy... seriously very heart broken to see him like that... being breathless and all.... exams are coming... i still can't find the mood to study... sigh... nothing is going in to my head... just now my freaking mother shouted at me... just because i accidentally dropped my thingy into the laudry... knn! like wtf.. here i am killing my brain cells for my exams.. just because i did one small mistakes does she have to scold me like i fucking owe her 1 million???!!!

tmr dad's office people are coming over to my place... I HAVE TO HELP OUT! seriously in this house yes i know it's though on mum but for goodness sake STOP SAYING NOBODY IS HELPING YOU WHEN I DID LAY HANDS TO HELP YOU ALRIGHT! SERIOUSLY DID SIS EVER HELP U AS MUCH AS I DID??? HUH! U ASK YOURSELF... YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING STRESS I AM???!!!! KNN! I'M ALRDY SOO STRESSED WITH MY OWN PERSONAL LIFE AND NOW I HAVE TO ENDURE ALL OF YOUR FUCKING NONSENSES! YOU KNOW HOW PRESSURISING THAT IS!!!!!! FUCK MAN! I REALLY HATE MY LIFE!!! FUCKING NOBODY UNDERSTANDS MY FUCKING LIFE!!! I WISH I CAN DIE SOON! I BET THERE'S NO ONE WHO EVEN GIVES A DAMN! HATE MY SHITTY LIFE!!!! LIFE SUCKS!

totally in love with this phone... =D

2010-02-02T22:50:00.003+08:00

ytd was shopping awhile after doing project... went to tampines 1 to shop.. i bought this sonigear portable speaker fer $14.90... wow the sound quality is superb man.... i've thought it could be some cheapo kind of portable speaker lol.. hahahas! =D then while i was walking pass those handphone shop i came across this phone which is LG LOLLIPOP.. omg!!! it's like i've never seen such cute phone ever!! i've always wanted such a cute and girly phone man... but too bad singapore doesn't bring it in... till i saw LG Lollipop!!! omg omg omg!!! it's soo freaking cute can... always watching japanese drama all this always see those girls using those cute cute phone... but i can never lay my hands on it.. omg! i'm soo in lurve with it now!!! sob stupid starhub recontract is $0 can!!! wa liao... i just recontracted last june... shit!!!

without plan it costs $428!!! wa liao damn heart pain lor... then i keep bugging mummy... but she keep telling me that i got phone blar blar.... soo decided to check her phone plan... she can renew and that phone only costs $98 bucks!!! omg omg... all i can hope now is mummy can help me get that phone.... SOB!!!! T.T i have never love a phone soo much that once i know i wanted to get it with my own money i immediately threw 10 bucks to save up... which i will never do that... LOL!!! shit larhz... i want that phone!! sob!!!! here's some pictures of it... hehe... i totally adore the pink colour one!! =D

seriously fucked up!

2010-02-01T00:39:00.003+08:00

seriously i never felt soo fucked up ever... the feeling of no one is there to listen and all... it's clearly proven... i am indeed am alone in this fucking unfair world... no one understands me... and definitely none appreciates my help... i thought HE would have consoled me... but end up HE just say bye bye HE'LL think about it tonight.. alright firstly yes i really damn sian after hearing that and secondly i didn't blame HIM entirely... because HE has to work tmr.. and has a very long day... i hate it when people accuse me for stuffs i didn't do... and claim they are busy and stuff but end up not making any effort to manage their own time.. it's so irritating when one says he's busy and tired then the next you'll see them online on msn and stuff... i really got no comment really... once i've made a mistake and i'm always condemn for it.. is it fair to me???

i'm not even given a chance to explain myself and i'm already condemn... it's really not fair... i'm feeling soo fucked up... all i know is that in this world there's really nobody whom will truly care about me and understands me... except my bestest friend and my buddy... they are the ones i dare to say who will understand me no matter what... but of course the person whom i trust most and definitely 100% won't betray me is ME MYSELF AND I. that's right... me... because i've been keeping things to myself.. and only i know i won't betray or do anything bad to hurt myself... i had enough of everything..... after FYP i'll definitely feel much better... i realise something... sometimes u need to spend a few days with someone then you'll know their true colours...

and believe or not every human being are selfish... that i agree.... enough said... i'm depressed and stress enough.... nobody is there to hear me out... i need no one but myself... i hope mr red is eating now... felt happy when i saw him took a bite of his food... =) alright i'm going to bed now... nights all...

happy happy...

2010-01-25T03:03:00.006+08:00

i am soooo happppyyyyy!!! why? because after 13 years of my life i manage to get my own PET FISH!!!! woot!!! super duper happy.. thanks to mr zi en he accompanied me to buy my fishy!! hehe.. =D they are now my babies!! super love them.... one of them is blue the other red... but not pure red... sad... can't find anymore pure red.... as the one i wanted the fin wasn't nice... i shall upload pics here... my fish are nice okays... dun understand why my sis say not nice.... i pick them and they are so beautiful to me... most people thinks my blue one is nice... yes i agree but the red too.. just that no one actually observe his fin... =D beautiful fish...

went to meet mr owen aka poodle today... super long didn't met him... still as crappy as ever.. i think he's the no 1 most crappy person i've ever met besides ong wu gui lol!! hahas... had fun... crap like nobody's business... LOL... but got to go home because tmr or in fact later both of us have school... BORING!!! oh well... i shall upload pics and videos of my babies okays... more pictures will be taken soon... as this 2 darlings of mine move soo fast very hard to take pretty pictures of them... =D alright gotta head to bed now... night night everyone! =D

Name: MR RED (still thinking but just name it first =D).

Personality: Relaxed, Like to stare into space like ah gong like that, Not so active, Gentle, Love to rest on the stones, Not that agressive, Like to eat and spit out the food again, Scared quite easily by my movements.

Knowlegde: Have learn to differenciate Night and Day.

Conclusion: Settled down already. But still haven't eat yet..

Name: MR BLUE (still thinking but just name it first =D).

Personality: Love to swim up and down left and right like Kee siao fish, Agressive, Super Active, love to eat the food then spit it out again, play with the colour stones, naughty.

Knowledge: Have learn to differenciate Night and Day and Learn to Eat the food that is given.

Conclusion: Have yet to settled down i think.. still very hyper.... only now at 3.29am he is starting to sleep but still will swim here and there...

it's decided.

2010-01-18T03:04:00.002+08:00

it's been decided that after HIS birthday.... i'll stop liking HIM.. and i'll eventually give HIM up and we'll be just friends... felt really sad.. and can't bear to do it.. but i guess whatever i previously posted on it's just my imagination... just feel that i'm never good enough for anybody... *depressed* another 62 days and i'll wake up from my sweetest dream ever... it's all over... *cries*

felt much better...

2010-01-13T01:59:00.002+08:00

after hours of chat with nadiah my beloved girlfrn... i felt sooo sooo sooo much better! it makes all the negative turn around to positive... and i'm glad to say that i didn't give up so easily though i post it earlier that i must move on and time to give HIM up but i think it's going to be way hard unless i got a concrete prove from HIM.... i'm really very happy i've met HIM... Thank god for it....

it's over.

2010-01-13T00:15:00.002+08:00

all i can say is the truth that i dun wish to hear was out... what i've done for HIM is all over.... but i can't just because of this i'll give up on HIS birthday gift... i dun even know if HE'll like it or not... not to say touched... i bet this is the worse birthday gift i'm going to give HIM..... What's done is done... no use crying over spilled milk... all i can say i have no regrets... just disappointed and depressed that i wasn't given any chance.... i've got to move on.... i'm destined to be around disappointments.... i have to get used to it... all i hope now is HE'll study hard and pass HIS exam and see that smile of relief from HIM again.... i shall slowly give HIM up as time goes by... time heals all broken wounds... but mine... i guess i need abrasions to heal all my broken wounds... it hurts badly.... thank goodness i have a blog to release that 2% of pain.... and it's being said again it hurts really bad....

back from genting trip!

2010-01-05T01:08:00.002+08:00

hellloooooo!!! i'm back!!! genting trip was super duper fun this year... why?? because got my darling with me!!! hahas... so funnnn!!! first time in my life i could just knocked out when i get back to the hotel room... really very shag after a long whole day out having fun shopping playing the outdoor theme park... the last day before going home was really hilarious.... sis and darling keep playing wii... first was cooking mama... then wii sports... both of them play the boxing.. super funny lor!! see the both of them play... when it's my turn.. i literally knocked out on the bed after i play finish my match... super shag... till now still shag... lols... totally shag all the way... suppose to be going to school today... but too shag to even wake up in the morning... hahas!! lols...

well i totally miss HIM alot.... am so happy... i bought HIM a shirt!! really hope HE likes it... and silly boy.. because of HIS kindness lead HIM to maybe or almost losing 300 bucks.. sigh... shall sayang HIM.... alright i'm so going to remove my ''bore pack'' the one that you put it on ur nose so that you can remove the black heads... ya... and going to bed.. it's late and i have school tmr!! =D so shall blog again alright... tata!!

weee~~~~ glims

2009-12-26T18:56:00.002+08:00

it's indeed the best christmas ever!!!!! wahahahas... i'm so sorry i can't reveal it here.... LOL!!! but it was a nice christmas spending it with HIM.... i wish every year christmas will be the same... hahas!! I LOVE YOU!!! oh yes last but not least i'm sooo happppppyyyyyyyyy!!!!!! He got me a beautiful HOT PINK ESPIRIT TOWEL AND WATER BOTTLE!!! it's damn pretty can!!! totally love it a lot!!! hahahas... shall take a picture of it and post it up here okays... =D happy happy happy.... i hope he like his gift too.. hahas... okays i gtg now... dad rushing me to go have dinner... so tata fer now!! =D

CHRISTMAS 2009!

2009-12-25T03:14:00.002+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!! sorry it's been quite a while since i've last blog... shall up to date soon... all i can say after 26 i'll tell u whether i have the best christmas ever alright?? i'm soo looking forward to it.. hahas!! =D alright shall not say soo much too tired to even start anything... and sorry about my bday post people.. shall upload it soon!!! tata!!

Misunderstanding As Always.

2009-12-16T02:34:00.006+08:00

seriously darling.. you think properly.. u said i blame u for sentosa outing.. seriously after seeing what u have posted in ur fb... i really got pissed... firstly u said i blame u.. i really wonder which part of me did i BLAME you saying that BECAUSE OF YOU we can't go sentosa! DID I EVER SAY THAT! please make it clear to yourself about this... First of all if i EVER BLAME YOU i won't have said.... "WA LIAO! SEE LARHZ BECAUSE OF YOU ALL CAN'T GO LER... THEN NEVER MIND LOR WE GO WITHOUT YOU SINCE YOU SO BUSY..." seriously i really wonder am i such a friend to you in your eyes??? am i someone who totally ignore your situation and force u to go? if really can't go then that's too bad... BUT LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT TO YOUR HEAD! WE SAID WE WILL GO TOGETHER ALREADY.. SO THAT'S FINAL WHOEVER CAN'T MAKE IT I'LL CHANGE THE DATE... NO ONE IS GOING TO BE LEFT OUT.. UNDERSTAND??!!! so seriously dun ever say i BLAME YOU! if i ever did then okays it'll be my fault... if since u say i dun understand you and stuff then okays fine next time whatever outing i dun call you i go without you alright?? is that what you want? last time same thing happen.. u mistood me.. now this time again... anyways.. i dun wish to bring up the past.. but what i can tell you is please think properly whether i did blame u for anything before or not... because whatever u say there reflects badly on me... and this word H.U.R.T is there... so dun ever say i BLAME you alright.. here's the prove you read it urself.. this is our conversation u Highlight to me which part did i say this that IT'S UR FAULT and i BLAME you... u tell me okays.. the rest u read through ur history... because certain things i can't blog it out here.. you know why.. i mean i know you are stress, tired and frustrated... but please dun jump into conclusion that i blame you... it really stabs the heart..

(11:52 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: hey darling
ask u ar
this sunday u working
?
(11:52 PM) **Xiao blur quee: yes darling..
ya..
(11:52 PM) **Xiao blur quee: working..
(11:52 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: aii ya
(11:52 PM) **Xiao blur quee: y
(11:52 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: next sunday oso?
SENTOSA!
lols
(11:52 PM) **Xiao blur quee: nxt sun my bd..
(11:53 PM) **Xiao blur quee: no..
i working..
(11:53 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: ohh ya
(11:53 PM) **Xiao blur quee: everi sat n sun sure work de ma..
(11:53 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: keep forgeting ur bday is on sun
haiz
ya i know
alamak
(11:53 PM) **Xiao blur quee: u als noe de..
(11:53 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: i think like that
cannot go liao
(11:53 PM) **Xiao blur quee: dun ned to ask ab sat n sun de..
how come
(11:53 PM) **Xiao blur quee: u say wk day
(11:54 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: ya lor
but then cos zi en take alot of leave ler
(11:54 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: then cannot geng mc
cos next day go back work
why so red
ol
*lol
haiz
(11:55 PM) **Xiao blur quee: wat is geng
(11:56 PM) **Xiao blur quee: take 2days mc ..

then if lik tt u all go ahead ba!!!!
(11:56 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: geng lor means take MC
eeee
dun wna
zzzz
(11:56 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: siao like that wehre got fun sia
*where
(11:56 PM) **Xiao blur quee: u all 3..
find one more..
(11:56 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: dun wan larhz
(11:56 PM) **Xiao blur quee: cos u all too white le..
then u all go..
(11:57 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: zzzzz
diao
dun wan lor
(11:57 PM) **Xiao blur quee: 2nd time i pei u all..
(11:57 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: that time say hao ler
dun wan
=.=
(11:57 PM) **Xiao blur quee: but als ..
i work..
(11:57 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: u sunday work wad time?
if u work night still can
(11:57 PM) **Xiao blur quee: darling u must cmf wit me earlier 24 got celebrate christmas anot..
(11:58 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: 24 zi en say can pot luck at his place lei
(11:58 PM) **Xiao blur quee: i all the while work morning..
(11:58 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: he ask me ask u all come oso
(11:58 PM) **Xiao blur quee: they nvr giv me ..
(11:58 PM) **Xiao blur quee: 24 i nvr work..
tml work...
nxt wk als work..
(11:59 PM) **Xiao blur quee: tues n thurs working..
(11:59 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: wa
(11:59 PM) **Xiao blur quee: nxt wk mon n tues n wed work..
(11:59 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: next week u tues and thurs working ar?
wa~~
(11:59 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: really no need to go ler
haiz
nvm lor
(11:59 PM) **Xiao blur quee: ya ..
(11:59 PM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: next year ba
(11:59 PM) **Xiao blur quee: i wher got work..
thurs....
this wk leh...

nxt wk then eve..
(12:00 AM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: this thurs u work or next thurs?
(12:00 AM) **Xiao blur quee: no la..
i noe is eve ma..
(12:01 AM) **Xiao blur quee: i als can lik tell her last min i can't work...
(12:01 AM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: ohhh
but ur's is monday right?
monday and friday right??
(12:01 AM) **Xiao blur quee: i mean if nxt day can't work can tell de..
wat mon n fri
(12:02 AM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: no i confused ler
wait wait
(12:02 AM) **Xiao blur quee: u nvr read..
(12:02 AM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: this week u working on when?
(12:02 AM) **Xiao blur quee: i say this wk i work tues n thurs...
(12:02 AM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: okays
next week?
(12:02 AM) **Xiao blur quee: nxt wk work mon to wed..
(12:02 AM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: ohhhhh
okays okays
hmm but both the week weekends u cannot right?
(12:03 AM) **Xiao blur quee: 26dec morning can ba!!!
i dunno leh..
cos he celebrate bd for me..
but meet nite time..
(12:04 AM) **Xiao blur quee: i scare later i damn tired or pain..
(12:04 AM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: he want come sentosa oso can der
(12:04 AM) **Xiao blur quee: dun tink so...
(12:05 AM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: even zi en oso tell me say if xmas eve want celebrate he ask u come with him lor
(12:05 AM) **Xiao blur quee: i dunno he is free anot..
(12:05 AM) **Xiao blur quee: i dunno he got work anot..
(12:05 AM) ★ +|.£ii'yÿAñN.|: but then
xmas eve
dunno lei
(12:05 AM) **Xiao blur quee: but christmas he off...

everything is done!

2009-12-15T00:27:00.002+08:00

Finally everything is done... Mum completed the kitchen and i've finish unpacking my carton of rubbish into my cupboard!!! WEEE!!! very happy!! hahas.... finally my room is clean and neat!! and i'm so going to kick my old habits and start to keep my new room clean and neat... hahas! kinda sad that we aren't able to go sentosa this month.. but like zi en said still got another time.. and listening to darling's stress and tiredness i really pity her.. dun wish she is that stress anymore.. really pity her alot.. so i've decided to go sentosa next year... hahas.. hopefully we can have a wonderful time together ba... =) oh well... alright i shall stop blogging getting lazy to blog already... will blog again tata!~~ =D

It's been a while since i last saw that smile on ur face.

2009-12-11T00:17:00.004+08:00

As i opened HIS letter to see HIS grades.. i was really happy that HE passed... so i gave HIM that ''fail'' face... HE took it for real... HE was pretty sad already.. then i told HIM... there's good news.... HE say wad? i say really it's good news.. then i told HIM the result... HE really took a sigh of relief... it was like a huge stone pressing against HIM that HE feel so hard to breathe... and that's where i saw HIM smiling and glimming away... i was really very delighted to see HIM happy that HE passed... and i know HE really deserve it after studying soo hard... congrats to you!!! =) it's been awhile since i've last seen HIM smiling so relaxed... but HE still worries about the rest of HIS paper... all i can say is jia you okays!!! i'll support you der!! =) i'm really so happy today.... i bet 2 of us will be having sweet dreams tonight.. =) alright gtg tmr it's inter class game! gotta be on time.. =D nights all!

totally love this song...

2009-12-08T02:33:00.011+08:00

well... i'm surprised that i've finished the housework at 1am.. goodness~~~ totally shagged out... =.='' there fore i self declare no school tmr.. totally very tired... but here i am still online blogging.. i really dun want to sleep yet till i've complete writing down the lyrics of wedding dress sung by taeyang... it's a very nice emo korean song... totally my hot favourite now... =) the girl and guys are smokin hot and handsome man... =) hahas.. alright shall not blog any further... and since u guys are soo eager to see my new bedroom... here it is!!! hahas.. shall post up my bday incident soon.. because it's really a long post.. soo ya it will take some time till i have the mood again... tata~~~

ps: i totally miss HIM alot... sigh...

so initially my room looks like that... hahas... i can't find the neater version though.. will try to upload here... =)

there goes my bed... left the chair fan and laptop.... =)

there goes everything.. left my modem.. =.=''

the next day.. everything is gone~~~~!!!! >.<

that's the contractor's vacuum cleaner.. not mine.. =.=''

eventually my wall is RED!!! muhahaha.. nice nice??? nicely done by the painter!! *thumbs up*

another picture of it.. =)

the colour of my curtain that i chose.. nice?? matches well with my wall right?? and my new table.... =)

my temporary sleeping place before my queen size bed is here.. =)

my whole temporary room.. =)

this is the design i chose on my table and bed frame.. it looks like that.. very vintage looking.. totally love it to bits~~~ =) hope it's clear enough fer u guys to see.. =)

TADA!!!! my ROOM!!!!! nice nice?? i love the bedsheets too.. can see the huge mirror there?? and my tv? haha!~~ yea totally love my new room now... i chose the bedsheet too.. does it matches my room?? hahas..

another one... =) wooot!! all i can say.. i'm good at choosing my favourite colours.. >.<>

the song... wedding dress by taeyang.. =) enjoy!!

THE END!!!!

sunshine after the rain...

2009-12-03T13:59:00.003+08:00

feeling glad and happy that HE is talking to me.. and replying me in msn... i'm so sorry for what i've done.. i'll not bring it up.. because to me HIS HAPPINESS is the most important thing.. i'll always love YOU and be there for YOU no matter what......

i'm such a disappointment....

2009-12-02T21:25:00.002+08:00

just because of what i did.. he's angry with me... i shouldn't have done it... i'm so sorry... just dun feel good right now... sigh... what have i done? till now he's not picking up my phone call... i'm really very sad... why is this happening to me?? SOB!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

2009-12-01T23:49:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! NO MORE "TEEN" BUT "TY"!!! WELCOME THE BIG 2 INTO MY LIFE!!! CHEERS!!!

Fucked up Life ever!

2009-11-29T15:29:00.004+08:00

seriously nobody understands what i mean... always scolding blaming me... can never make my family or anybody happy... i really dunno what to do... just because of one small problem of the internet i fucking kena scolded... like i'm to be blame for the modem or router not connected... just because of this fucking thing i have to be responsible for it.. i mean if they need to use they should tell me before i even leave the house... then like not happy for me going out... mum shoot up the roof when i said ''everything also i do'' yes okays... this really affects her because it's only this problem but i claim that it's almost the whole thing in the house i'm doing... alright this is my fault... but then they just dun get it when i meant that... it's like the thing is so easily done and yet they have to rely on me... sigh... dun wish to say anymore... over it's over....

dead and gone...

2009-11-22T23:35:00.003+08:00

i guess i have nothing to blog but all i can say is that it's time for me to move on... as this word ''not suitable'' was being said... i totally felt so rejected, useless and not good enough for ____.... and i knew that wad i have done is all in vain... nothing will be as perfect as i imagine... nothing will be colourful but fill with darkness... i will slowly die off my good side from now on and the evil side will be born soon... till then... i wish and pray that ___ will have nothing but happiness which is always there with you...

a knife was stab into my heart.

2009-11-22T16:05:00.003+08:00

feeling sad now.. really sad... though i'm feeling very sad but i have no one to share about it... so blogging is the only thing i can do.. to express it out... and type every single thing that i want to say in here... i can't tell my best frns as it's way too personal... all i can say this is the first time i have ever kept every single thing to myself... it's much more challenging to keep all this to myself because no one knows about it except me... i'll be having a hard time controlling my temper... i hope i dun offend those who are innocent.. i'm trying.. i dun wish to elaborate anymore but.. it's really hurting me... for the fact that i could be very happy at a moment and the next very depressed about it... this is how terrible my mood swing can get... but it's all because of one main reason which is ___...

i never knew it will hurt so much to be able to like that someone so much and yet at the same time hate that person's action... i couldn't sleep well last night... as i have an instinct that tells me something... and when i have that kind of instinct i know it will always be right... to my disappointment i found out that it was true... first thing that happen was tears just roll down my cheeks... non stop... my heart never felt so heavy compared to the past few break ups... i can't stop thinking about what happen... i can't accept the fact that the person is like that... i just can't! it's so hurting! i just feel so stupid and silly... once i knew i couldn't be trusted i tried many ways to gain back the person's trust... and i dare to say i seriously put my whole heart into it....

but.... why??? why does this has to happen?? has all my effort be in vain?? i just dun understand what is happening... though it may seems to be nothing has happen but... it's all wrong! why shld this happen??? i really do not know why... i've tried and tried... i really want to treasure things but why is all this bad things happening to me?? why is it that i'm always the one getting very hurt deeply?? why?? i just dun get it?? i can't be good nor i can't be bad... i'm just so stuck in the middle... whenever i just think about that incident... all my flash backs of my past just start coming in... i seriously do not know where did i go wrong whenever i put my heart into certain things.. it always came crushing down like a huge tornado just blew a bunch of buidlings down...

i'm just thinking to myself.. shld i give up?? shld i just lead life just like that?? seriously speaking i just can't stand my appearance right now... i look seriously awful... so dun tell me that there's a better person out there who can accept me... to me i think i look horrible....... NO ONE WILL EVER ACCEPT ME! it's clearly proven to me that looks are important.... dun mention about it.. even a person judge a person's looks then only they will start a conversation with you... i dunno why is the world so unfair till this kind of extend... i know i'm nt making an effort of reducing my weight and all.. but i just dun understand why some people grows up so naturally beautiful and not to make so much effort about it.. whereas some does so badly... and it's nt like i've haven't tried.. tried but rebound super fucking fast! for wad shit??? wasting my time only... so much effort i put in.. and yet back to square one... knn!

I HATE MYSELF REALLY DO HATE MYSELF!!! I'M SUCH A FAILURE!!! REALLY!! I'M SO USELESS!! every single thing i can't do it right... every single damn thing i'll destroy it... no wonder nobody appreciates me... i'm just so damn despressed right now... i dun feel like doing anything.... i dun feel hungry at all... i just feel like doing something stupid something that will really get rid of this caring, kind, loving freak liyan... i'm just so stupid... but really all i can say is that loving a person who doesn't love you back is really tiring and hurting... i've tried that... and it's hurting.... but i'm still loving him...... *tears been rolling down my cheeks since 1pm.. it's been 3 hrs since i've cried, stop, cried....* my heart hurts badly.... what should i do??

totally shagged...

2009-11-17T22:51:00.002+08:00

well today had napfa... kns... si AZLAN! hate him like shit.. but i was GL enuff to scold him a bastard in front of him... lol!!! hehe... =) but was kinda disappointed that my shuttle run got slower by 1. something second... sigh... did 38 sit ups... haha.. cute right the number?? in chinese it means a bitch.... =) hehe... yap well wanted to upload the pictures of my empty room... but i'm to shag to do anything... totally shag out... guess i'll do it tmr... alright blog again...~~ tata!!

damn shag like hell!!!

2009-11-17T02:57:00.002+08:00

i just finished packing my whole room man! in fact i've completed it at 1 am... thanks to my darling!!! if not i think i'll just die without her help!!! really soo grateful to her man... =) well have lots of stuff to pack.. and i've alrdy used up 4 and a half boxes for my stuffs man... imagine how much things i have hidden in there?? omg!!! wa i tell u damn shag lor... really got soo many things i've got to get rid of it... it's also soo dusty... till my sinus is on now.. practically i'm stuffing a tissue into my nose while typing this post... imagine how bad??? tmr i have to continue again... i could have skip school but then STUPID NAPFA!!! still have to go back... kns... damn shag alrdy lor... thought i could finish everything earlier but too late alrdy... didn't manage to call HIM and talk to HIM... really do miss him.. but no choice man.. feel so bad alrdy by not entertaining HIM in msn when he's working... just realise my nails are breaking.. kns lor.. think i have to cut them alrdy... alright i shall go to bed now... will blog again if i have the time... tata! shall try to take pictures and upload here.. =)

the meaning of the song 默默 sang by 飛輪海...

2009-11-15T16:28:00.003+08:00

i seriously love this song ever since i first listen to it... i didn't knew wad it means at first... then darling told me that "it sound just like u and him."... then i ask her... wad does it mean?? she didn't answer me... because at that time she just broke up with her ex.... it didn't really urge me to check it's meaning... till one day i really got curious and i found it's meaning... yes... it does really explain my love for him... but i know that is not possible... because in his eyes i'm just a very close friend nothing else but that... i guess i can't put too much hope in it... as i'm afraid it will just come crushing down like the last time... but one thing for sure... no matter what i'll just wait... and continue to wait.... till he has found another girl and i will know his answer... =)

飛輪海 - 默默
Fei Lun Hai – Mo Mo
Fahrenheit - Silently

這是一個沒有答案的問題
Zhe shi yi ge mei you da an de wen ti
This is a problem without an answer
我感覺我變了誰讓我變了
Wo gan jue wo bian le shei rang wo bian le
I feel that I’ve changed, who changed me
原本這是一個沒有答案的問題
Yuan ben zhe shi yi ge mei you da an de wen ti
So this is a problem without an answer
卻被你解開了簡單的解開了
Que bei ni jie kai le jian dan de jie kai le
But you unraveled me, simply unravel

你走過來帶著和別人不同的對白
Ni zou guo lai dai zhe he bie ren bu tong de dui bai
You came over bringing other people’s various dialogue
你甚至不讓我知道你對我有多好
Ni shen zhi bu rang wo zhi dao ni dui wo you duo hao
You even didn’t let me know how good you are to me

慢慢的這份愛悄悄地住下來
Man man de zhe fen ai qiao qiao de zhu xia lai
Slowly, this love silently lives on
深深的在心裏沒人看的出來
Shen shen de zai xin li mei ren kan de chu lai
Deeply, in your heart no one can see
安靜的但卻一直都在
An jing de dan que yi zhi dou zai
Silently, but continuously
是你默默的愛
Shi ni mo mo de ai
It’s your silent love

慢慢的這份愛已經變成依賴
Man man de zhe fen ai yi jing bian cheng yi lai
Slowly, this love already became depended on
淺淺的笑容裏卻讓我充滿期待
Qian qian de xiao rong li que rang wo chong man qi dai
A superficial smile making me full of expectations
不用說我就能夠明白
Bu yong shuo wo jiu neng gou ming bai
You don’t need to speak, I’ll understand enough
你默默地愛
Ni mo mo de ai
Your silent love

未來的每一天不管發生什麽
Wei lai de mei yi tian bu guan fa sheng shen me
No matter what will happen in future days
能不能交給我呢
Neng bu neng jiao gei wo ne
Can you give them to me?
我要永遠陪著你守護著你直到最後
Wo yao yong yuan pei zhe ni shou hu ni zhi dao zui hou
I want to accompany you forever, watching you till the end

shag shag shag!!

2009-11-15T01:04:00.004+08:00

well well.. here to blog again.. wahaha.. i forgot to mention I'M RENOVATING MY ROOM!!! woots!! i'm going to be soooo busyyyyyyy packing my stuffs man!!! oh my gosh!! i've lots of things to get rid and lots of things to throw.... oh well.. but i'm getting all excited for the new look of my bedroom... the theme is red!!!~~~ oh yes baby it's going to be RED!!!! i chose my own red curtain and my own design for my table... Bedsheet was chose by my mum... and yes! mummy knows my taste!! she chose RED bedsheet.. wahahaha... i'm soo happy!!!! well for my bed yes it's going to upgrade to a queen size bed! =) i've yet to choose my bed though... =) but soon... and yes will take pics to show u the before and the after... =) hahas.. soo excited... and i'm soo excited to go genting too!!! wahaha... this trip is my first ever friend to be with me that is DARLING!!!! wahahhaa.. sooo happy.. though i'm soo shag now.. but i'm still very happy with my own design of my room... =) do give me comments of my room okays! hahas.. alright shall stop blogging now having the itch of dota-ing!!! hehe... =) once again thanks mum and dad for the renovation of my room!!!! love ya very much!! muacks muacks!!! last but not least... i miss HIM very much!!!!!

my head hurts!

2009-11-10T00:26:00.002+08:00

well today woke up with a terrible headache again.. i dunno why.. but it's painful... up till now it still hurts... couldn't take it so i took panadol again to reduce the throbbing of my head... the whole day i was finding a suitable blog skin and finally i found it! totally love this blog skin of mine.. but i'm still finding a suitable background for it... hahas.. ah yes.. i'm gathering my buddies to celebrate my birthday on 28 november... which happens to be my girlfriend nadiah's birthday... hahas.. yea! i'm soo happy that zi en agreed to come... can't wait to see him in his long sleeve again.. *drools* lols!! yea... i need to save up man... and i guess i'll have to delay my gf's gift... cos too budget! i'm sorry girl.. but i'll get u a very nice gift okays! alright i shall blog again soon... as i need to turn in early.. tmr i need to wake up early for school... tata!!

finally back to blog!

2009-10-20T22:13:00.008+08:00

well well... alright finally i'm like not caught up with my dota or wadeva and as i'm bored i decided to blog! okays... like i promised i'm going to upload the pictures of my darling took during the baking of muffin session here.. yap yap.. oh yes fyi my muffin tastes nice! i didn't expect the both of us to bake so well can... hahas!~ xD let me have the credit can... lol... well the response from my family, chee koo and zi en all of them said it was very nice... but thanks to this stupid zi en come suan me say edible or not??? then keep saying if he lao sai how?? who's going to be responsible blar blar.. crap larhz he.. stupid tofu boy... haha.. yap.. lols.. well things between the 2 woman, my darling and i still the same...

they like expect us to talk to them and apologise like that.. but i'm not going to give a damn larhz... first of all she loves to push the blame to others and never once said that it's her fault... sickening i hate this kind of people lor.... irritating bitch... =.='' if it's your fault just admit larhz! why do you love pushing blames to others? very fun is it?? irritating... yesterday as i woke up to go to school i seriously do not know why i had such a terrible headache... it felt as if someone is squeezing my left side of my brain super tight that i can't even think or sleep or do wadeva with it... it's soo freaking pain till i can literally say ''ouch'' out loud.... =.=''

i keep thinking wad have i done? both of the night i slept at 1am but i had 9 hours of sleep.. that makes me have more than enough sleep.. i'm not lacking of any sleep... so couldn't take it i decided to take panadol.. ohh fyi i have lots of drug allergies... panadol is one of them.. so i risk my eyes and took the panadol... couldn't really sleep due to the pain even after putting down the phone with zi en... it still hurts like hell... =.='' when i woke up i can feel that my eye lids weighs a ton.. =.=''

it's so heavy and my eyes swell up... goodness gracious... the side effects after panadol... actually this one considered alright already... there's once i took this medicine for body ache.. wa... i tell you i'm so afraid i go blind.. both of my eyes swell soo badly that i could only squint my eyes and the whole eye lid was soo puffy that i can't open my eyes and my eye balls are all red.... imagine when i close my eyes there's pus coming out?? freaking pain i tell you.. i was soo freaking afraid i go blind anytime.. thank god it was just one of the most terrible side effects of that drug...

see larhz i can't take so many medicine.. then this stupid chee koo come curse me.. say if singapore got wad new disease i'm the first one to die.. =.= cos so many drug i'm allergic... wtf lor.. my buddy like that curse me.. see larhz... =.='' next time cannot treat him so good already larhz.. kns... alright larhz.. i think i'll stop here already... lazy to continue.. dun have the mood to blog today actually.. so wadeva i can think of i'll just type it here.. hahas.. alright here's the pics i've promised! =)

see this lazy girl.... must on tv and mix the paste together... =.=''

her kuku face! =D

putting the cup cakes paper.. lols.. or rather muffin paper? lols.. cute right got balloon one.. =)

VOLA!!! our delicious 1st batch of muffins! =) looks nice right??? hahas.. take a bite if u can.. =)

my darling gal and muffins! =)

me and the muffins!! yum yum... =)

US with the muffins~~ if u look at this picture properly you could actually tell both of us are totally shack out... fyi we finish baking everything at 2am!! =.=''

2nd batch of the muffin.. looks more like a muffin.. not that sucken as said by mr pan... lol~~ =)

THE END! =D

exhausted!

2009-10-15T00:24:00.002+08:00

i'm suppose to blog like i think few days back... but i was too tired from school and today is wednesday!! i'm so exhausted due to the sudden change of my life style.. from a nocturnal to a lively human being that wakes up early and goes to bed early... due to school... =.='' ahh.. i'm soo lazy.. alright here's a short one... today went school.. then after school went shopping with darling mei ling, john, edwin and guang rong... shop around tampines 1 and guess who we saw??! JOANNA PEH AND HER HANDSOME BOYFRIEND!!!! LOL!!! they were browsing through the clothings at this shop call UNIQLO.... and yes their shirts there are nice and freakishly at a reasonable price!! hurry and buy man!!!

promotion ends this friday!! hahas... yap... then all the stuffs was like omg!! JOANNA PEH!!! lol.. yea i kinda like her... love the way she talks and act... it's nice... =) usually i dun enjoy mediacorp show but surprisingly i do enjoy the show she acted in OC i think.. the one with UTT... ooohhhhh he's also a hottie!! hahahas!! and yes today i've officially QUITTED THE LIBRARY CLUB!! FUCK!! thinking of it makes me wanna slap that woman.. to think she loves to blame others and not herself.. always person A says this and Person B says that.... never will she say it's her fault... already soo fucked up that she make used of cai feng...

by making her travel all the way to school and find out if there's lesson or not.. and this girl is soo silly to make people make use of her.. talking to her also can waste my saliva... anyways that's their life... i can't be bothered.... wadeva it is... i shall be bothered anything about them anymore except when it comes to project... that's all... really... alright shall stop here now.. will blog when i have the time and patience... tata!

tired tired!!!

2009-10-12T01:19:00.002+08:00

ahh!! tmr school reopen!!! oh man!!! back to school again.. sad thing is that darling doesn't has school on monday and thursday!!! sob!! T.T at least i still got john! hahas.. thank goodnesss.. well here to say i will blog when i'm not soo tired.. probably tmr or tuesday... i shall update news about my muffin and pictures of it okays! plus my cousin's wedding today and to my surprised i found out that i'm have a distant niece! omg! so i am a aunty after all! =.= alright shall blog again!!~~ tata...

unexplainable feelings.

2009-10-04T23:01:00.002+08:00

sadness, jealousy, depressed, emotional.... all this is what i'm feeling now... i dunno why but i just feel that way... to think i could meet that special someone whom i liked today.. turns out a total ''disaster'' he couldn't remember saying he would meet me it's okays.. but to think he said that he would be a idiot to wait fer me to treat him swensens really makes me feel that i'm a useless person.. i really dunno what to say anymore... feel so upset and disappointed... he like totally can't trust me till this extend... yes we are not together though i really wish we could... i just feel that by him saying those words is worst than rejection... it hurts alot.. really alot... it's like someone u love just stab u in the back... that bad.. i really dunno what to say... just too upset about it.. am crying now.. but... it's hopeless... i guess i shouldn't pinned too much hopes onto him anymore... i'm a loser.... definitely a failure..... hate myself....

shopping at bugis!

2009-09-29T00:29:00.002+08:00

today met darling mei ling and han wei and we went shopping at bugis... okays... we were soo late~ because we were busy takling to daddie and marmie on the phone.. hahas.. funny lor~ hear daddie and darling mei ling keep arguing... listening free show lol.. =) okays... so we head to sim lim square to ''repair'' darling's psp.. then as we walked over to sim lim we saw this super huge MOON CAKE!!! then darling started saying there daddie's favourite! then we started laughing lol...

then we go sim lim then darling decided to buy daddie something... hahas.. soo we shared money and got him the thing.. shall not reveal here as he might come my blog and see see.. hahas.... yap then darling said in order to be fair we shall get something for marmie! hahas.. yap.. we got such cute thingy fer them... end up we oso bought it for ourselves.. because too cute alrdy!!! hahas.. shall upload it when i'm free...

oh and yes i webcamed with mr zi en!! hahas!! webcaming with him is soo funny lor!! he really entertain me like anything.. and certain things he do soo cute larhz!! omg!~~ *blush* okays okays.. enuff of my nonsences... =x lol.. i just miss him soo much!! how how?? sigh... i feel that sometimes it's only him that i can share my problems with... i dun feel stress or hesitate when telling him about stuffs.. i guess i'm too comfortable with him...

seriously even no matter how angry i am with that person i still feel that it's abit hard for me to dislike that person.. because i know that person still treats me good.. just that all wad has happen just made me feel that i'm being accused of something i didn't do.. sigh... i hope that person understand wad i mean..

it's so annoying!!

2009-09-28T14:53:00.004+08:00

seriously i dunno what to say anymore... i dunno why i still feel upset and angry about how one says me for not treasuring that person as a friend... i dun wish to speak names here because i dun wish to hurt anyone for being too straight forward... i feel that i really can't talk about my own personal life to anyone... because not even that person will listen to me about how i felt for this guy... i never felt so fucked up before.... went home ytd i drove dad's car and accidentally mount the kerb... his sports rim got a bit damaged... and he scolded me...

okays i admit that i was in the wrong... and it is proven that when u're driving never think about other stuffs... i was doing that and that's where i mount the kerb... came home mum scolded me for something i did not do... i didn't even touched the plastic bag cupboard and it was too full till the cupboard can't close... again it's my fault... alright never mind... when at night i was on msn just nice my mum came in i minimise my chat because my frn logout...

then she scolded me saying ''why i here u must faster close it dun let me see??'' wa that really got into my nerve! i was fucking pissed i scream and said '' wad i dun let u see u want see see larhz!" then i open and let her see... wa i nv see my mother soo kaypo and keep seeing larhz! damn fucking annoying i tell you... i never do wrong all oso i kena... every single thing i do oso must say... every single thing i do even though it's not my fault i'm always the one who say sorry..... all this clearly prove to me that i shouldn't trust anyone with my problems but myself... you see just by small things even it's not my fault I'M ALWAYS THE ONE WHO APOLOGISE!

when is ever my turn not to apologise and people to apologise to me??!!! i really can't take it anymore... it's on my nerve soo badly that i really feel like going back to my old habit and that is playing with the pen knife or rather lit a cigarette and smoke.... everyone claims they are worry fer me dun wan me to be sad... what are they doing?? they are just making me more depressed by treating me like that... i seriously dunno why i was even born to this world and even make people to insult me and treat me like this... everyone is such a LIAR! all of you! you all are such a hypocrite!! in front of me say want me to be happy.. end up what's all this! i'm the one who suffer in my heart... who knows? no one will ever know!

is because of my stupidility that i cared for others more than myself... i put everyone first than myself... i'm so disappointed in myself... no wonder i was born ugly and fat so that people could actually just make used of me! i'm such a loser! really... i just can't be smart enough... suffering in silence is wad i always do... but i realise nobody ever know... from today on.. i'll just not care about anyone anymore... i had enough.. and seriously enough... i only treat the person good if the person treat me good... that's all... no more than that... i can now proudly say NO ONE IN THIS WORLD WILL EVER UNDERSTAND MY FEELINGS AND MY INTENTION TO THE PERSON EXCEPT ME, MYSELF AND GOD. i dun wish to attract any attention so i rather keep it in silence...

blog is the only way for me to rant my feelings out... all i want to say is that never trust anyone but yourself as you yourself will NEVER EVER betray your self... i had enough.. i'm so tired of complaining here already... and even whine like a bitch... whatever it is this is my blog.. all this are my thinking if any one of u who is not happy about reading it u can just leave my blog... thank you! fyi i'm not crying while typing this... sigh.... life sucks!

wad a day!

2009-09-26T02:03:00.005+08:00

hahas.. just came back like around 12.20am from outing with daddy royston, mummy bobby and darling mei ling... wad a day... so nice of daddy royston to actually pick us up from school and drove us to have dinner at east coast at some "c nai" cafe... LOL! sounds soo wrong can.... yap yap... then something happened over dinner... then darling mei ling cried... sigh... just hope she can be strong... then we head over to marina barrage.. yea it was really a nice place to chill man... but was kinda left out.. because daddy had his frn wei jie to entertain him and mummy bobby was busy talking to darling mei ling... soo yea i was the only one...

that's why i dun like the idea of odd number people when it comes to outing... but anyways the only solution was to find mr zi en! hahas... yea... sigh... i dunno why... but i should be feeling happy.. but after what i've done.. i just feel that after doing so much i guess i should have a thank you or rather some appreciation but... end up i just disappoint people again and again... i dunno why i'm such a failure... whatever i do just makes people sad or mad at me... sometimes i just dun wish to care... and just do my own things... i think this is the best solution...

i dun want people to unwillingly or sacarsticly tell me thanks and they do appreciate what i've done for them... it's so fake... i just feel that sometimes being too nice people will just take you for granted... i kinda agree with that.. but i just can't stop being kind and nice to people.. perhaps that's my character... then again... sigh... just feel hurt... i dun say one person does this.. is like most people.. that's why i'm so used to whoever has treated me badly though i've treated them good... or rather they dun appreciate wad i've done and they dun even thank me.. it's okays...

i know in this world people will NEVER recognise your good side but only ur bad side... whatever it is i just hope my frn darling mei ling will just move on be strong and stay happy always... and also daddy royston to not be so emo everytime and to also stay happy always.... i dun wish to talk about how i feel or wad.. because i feel it's not necessary... my feelings i know it very clearly... and i'm used to keeping everything in... it's been many years since i've done that... so dun have to worry too much i have a way to handle... =) and sorry to say i only trust myself in such things... so it won't help talking about it.. sigh...

i'm sorry guys if my blog gets so emo and i sound so pathetic here... this is the only way i can let go some of my thoughts... it's like this is the overflowing feelings i have kept... =) oh yes.. forgot to blog about the outing with daddy, mummy and darling.... we went sentosa to chill on 23 sept or 22 sept.. is either tues or wed.. can't rmb.. stm... hahas... =) was really fun! first time chilling at this small little tower there! hahas.. then daddy and mummy totally acted soo gay lor! i got the video.. =) hehe.. should i post it here??? keke.. let me think about it okays! yap.. then reach home around 4am.. mama and papa scold me upside down lol... what to do? i'm a girl ma... lol... alright i shall stop here now... shall blog again... tata...

no one ever understands me.

2009-09-22T13:42:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I feel that thinking of others too much indeed do hurt myself. I'm always taking the hard way and always hurting myself. It's alright. I'm used to it... I can't be selfish to myself. I do not know why. And i really can't. Sigh... I feel that in this world no one truly understands me except me myself and i perhaps god too. Doing good things but people dun appreciate and in fact state questions to you in a hurtful way. I myself am a human being with feelings. I dun expect anyone to take my heart and just trampled on it. I do feel hurt. But when i feel hurt who's there for me?? I say no one is because no one ever tried to notice the real me. How the way i act, how the way i behave. When my friends are sad, emo and depressed, i'll try many ways to make them happy and make them think positive and help them get back up onto their feet. But when i'm sad, emo and depressed, no one even noticed i'm sad or emo. They'll just think i'm a girl who has no problems because I'm the "happy-go-lucky" kind of girl. So i bet she has no problems. Perhaps they think this way. I do not know. I just feel that i'm so used to getting hurt till i even know how to control it so well that no one ever noticed. Sigh.... I really dunno what i should do. Being selfish is so not like me. Seriously i don't think i can even do it. What should I do? Here I am whining about myself makes me feel like i'm such a attention seeker or rather a person who does good things but expects something in return. Ha Ha! What a joke! Oh well i guess this is me. This is who i am.

tired tired...

2009-09-18T02:04:00.005+08:00

okays! as usual got disturbed by the drilling and hammering due to my neighbour renovating their house! super annoying!!!!!! agrrhhh!!!!! i was happily in my lala land then suddenly *boom boom* *eeeee.... eeeee....* WA!!! i tell u spoil my sleep man!! sickening.. so woke up took my psp and stuff my earphones into my ears and blast my music... end up it's not helping so i decided to wake up... can't get back to sleep.... so as usual ever since daddy bought his laptop i use it as if it's mine.. >.< lol! then chatted online while waiting for the time to pass to meet mr pan zi en for dinner... had seafood bee hoon for dinner... as he walked me back i'm still hungry... lol!! so mum asked if i wanted supper... and of course without hesitations YES was my answer.. soo now while waiting for my food, here i am blogging... and so gonna play my pet society... nothing better to do lor.. hahas... =) tmr i'm going to cruise again to celebrate daddy's birthday!! yay happy birthday to daddy in advanced! love you so much! you are my number 1 daddy ever!!

one thing i just realise... today when i pass zi en my previous phone as his phone was spoiled, i read through the messages last time when he sms me.. he sounded so sweet and all.. sound like as if he really cared for me alot.. end up he just silent break with me... sigh... as i read those sms.. tears start to fall down... i know it's useless to cry and think about it.. it's already 4 mths plus already.... i dunno what is happening this month...

why is all my friends i know are at emo states? most of them have relationship problem... the most shocking one was my darling and her bf... it was so sudden that no one could get ourselves prepared for it... darling broke down... felt sad seeing her like that.... i myself dunno how am i going to help her... so i invited her to stay over my place last tuesday... so we had a wonderful time.. hearing her laugh her heart out i feel much happier for her... i just hope she will be a strong girl and will be able to think what's best for her....

darling... i hope u can stand up again after this fall... i dun wish to see u being hurt till like that... since he wants to avoid you want to hurt you just give him up... pardon me with my straight forwardness... i seriously feels that he doesn't know how to treasure you... and because of his ego, he expects you to follow his decision without asking you for your opinion... it's not as if he's the only guy in this world... since he keep saying he's lousy, he didn't prove anything that he has changed too... and since he thinks that dota is more important than you, i seriously think he needs to do lots of soul searching... your love for him is not worth it at all... your love should be treasured properly and should be given to the right man... dun be sad anymore.. be strong! show him you can live without him! i'll always be here to support you okays!! love you always buddy!

WORST PERSON I EVER MET WHO INSULTED ME!

2009-09-15T01:43:00.003+08:00

well as i was facebooking and chatting on msn... kuku wilson called me pu bor.. okays... then he reminded me of this fucking customer... wa i swear if i ever see him again i sure give him the blackest face ever... he's one mother fucker lor... alright so we have already ended work so this last customer suddenly showed up at darling's booth there talking about the battery he wanna buy or rather torch light i dunno which one... as i was sitting down on the floor as my legs were aching so badly this colleague of mine name darren came over to disturb me... saying ''hai zhuo xia bu yao zuo gong!" then i said "wei ''bang gang'' le lor zuo shen me gong? yao wo da ni ma?" then this fat ass customer oh ya before i continue fyi this customer is freaking fat and ugly who is partially bald i tell u!

ya he come and kaypo shoot me back saying '' wa ni zhe mo yao da ta de ma?" then he look at darren and said " wa ta yao da ni ma" then i said "wei wo ji shi yao da ta de ma? you know wad i mean lor." then he said no ar u said "yao wo da ni MA" keep emphasizing the word MA kns... feel like slapping him... then i said wadeva larhz... then darling came over with the cake (oh my boss's bday so his wife bought cake for us to eat) and said we are to share it together.... so i said orh okays then... then the fucking customer insulted me... saying '' wa ni na me ''xiao zhi'' le hai yao chi dang gao ni bu pa chi liao bian gen ''xiao zhi''? then darren starting laughing... and i think my darling oso but she got say him that he say me like tht very bad...

but it was too late... i zhi tao damn du lan.. i say chi dang gao you cuo ar! then as usual when i start arguing i'll start speaking english... so i scolded him... "i eat cake got wrong is it?" then he said "no ar i nv say got wrong"... then i said ''then? i eat u must comment larhz... i eat got crime ar? got ur business or not?" then he diam diam... i was super hot already.. i nearly wanted to take the whole freaking cake and threw it at his face or rather smack it on the floor and prepare to slap him... then he keep saying to darren ''ta shen qi liao'' then he fucking no brains one lei... offend people dunno how to say sorry keep telling me ''eh bu yao shen qi lei... wo zhi she gen ni kai wan xiao'' fuck lor! break people's pride and dignity larhz!

i know i fat but does he has to insult me that way? and wtf i didn't even talk to him larhz... so after throwing my temper i couldn't help it but cried abit in the train.. held my tears till i reach home... and let everything out.. sigh... thank goodness tmr is always a better day... that was really the worse customer ever.... i mean EVER! he's such a bastard... fucking shit! hope he will get his retribution one day for insulting people... hate him to the core! dun ever let me see him who knows i might even punch him in the face! alright shall stop here now.... tata!

finally PC SHOW is over!

2009-09-14T09:51:00.003+08:00

this year's PC show is practically super tiring.... imagine standing for the whole day and not even seating down to rest except when i go to the washroom or having my lunch and dinner break... oh my goodness... my legs is like killing me now.. not to mention my whole back ached like hell! i'm so deprived of massage now.. i just wish i could go to some body spa and they could give me a full body massage... every part of my body is aching like anything... =.='' oh and i actually ''sm'' myself... =.='' why? because i keep accidentally cutting my hands with the scissors which is placed behind my pocket... didn't realise my scissors is so sharp....

this year's sales for the earphone is super shitty... i can't hit 1k of sales for a day... it's terrible man! but can't be blame.. first of all the earphones are like so freaking not cheap can... then customers see the price u turn or give me that ''wa so freaking expensive'' look... =.='' i also can't do anything about the price wad.. i'm trying very hard to sell also.. but... sigh... end up oso i think they are not happy with my sales because i didn't help much either... anyways get to know 2 guys from the opposite stall.. one is bobby the other is royston... okays.. the funny thing is that royston looks super young... both darling and i thought he's younger than us...

like probably 17 or 18 years old.. but the truth is he is 22 this year... =.='' so good right got that baby face.. i also want!! lols... and bobby he's 24 this year... lol.. old bird... =) hahas.... ya he looks more matured so we could guess that he's around that age... =) oh yes one other thing.. bobby loves to see pretty girls.. so ti co hor.. =) hahahas... =x no larhz jkjk i think it's the nature of guys... =) and thanks to him also we can have another job offer! woots! so now we can work for them.. and i find that working for them is a easier job to promote rather than my job.. =.='' which is so freaking hard! darling and i decided that we will work for them... one thing good about it is because they could hire lots of people.. john and zi en already book that position too.. i can't wait to work with john and zi en.. it's gotta be lots of fun because we are all at around the same age group and it's so much easier to get along man!

can't wait for that day happens! hahas... dad bought a compaq lappy for himself which cost him $799 such a good deal right! ya all thanks to my mum.. when she heard them ''ley long'' already she quickly go buy... haha funny man! typical singaporean lor! hahas... ai ya what to do sometimes being kia su u can get good benefits so why not? hahas... i admit i can be kia su at times too.. hahas! alright lazy to blog already.. shall blog again next time.. tata!

here's some pictures i've taken... =) cam whoring time! =)

exams finally over!

2009-09-09T23:06:00.002+08:00

finally exams are over!!! wahaha... well all i can say my 2 paper is GG.... but i think i can pass though... lols.... if not i really dunno how already.... i want to aim for poly!! ahhh!! tmr is first day of work at PC show! so those guys who frequent PC shows do see if u can spot me or not... hahas.. =) reward is... ehh.... lol just get to see me lor! =) lame shit... alright so now holidays has started so is my busy september schedule... but! i'm still so happy!! no more paper no more books!! finally i can go out shopping and have fun with my friends! can't wait for the pulau ubin trip man!! it's so exciting! =) really really can't wait! all i can say is that during my stay at jac's place, it makes me really do miss home alot.... i love my bed and my home! after all like everyone say no place is better than home.. =) alright shall stop here with my miserably short blog... blog again soon... tata!

happy birthday ong wu gui!!! =)

2009-09-05T17:54:00.003+08:00

hahas.. ytd sept 4th was mr edwin ong yu gui aka ong wu gui's birthday!!! hahaha!! edwin ni lao yi shui le!! alright shall say happy birthday again to this classmate of mine.. yes he is super annoying i tell you... but he's also a good friend in certain ways and hell great of a entertainer... hahas!! =) well supposing we planned to go to airport and study... so the previous night i didn't get to sleep either... was busy chatting on the phone with mr wilson! =) alright so we planned to meet for lunch.. then chill awhiled and off we head to airport.. he was kind enough to send me to airport which i seriously didn't expect it to happen... okays... yap so end up he toured around airport awhile and manage to find his way back... thank god he didn't get lost... =)

if not his mei will kill me lol!! xD anyways... reached airport around 4pm then studied a bit... then darling and i plan to get wu gui a cake... so we started to plan like how are we going to get the cake without him knowing and stuff.. hahas... it was really funny because we bluff him that we didn't buy the cake and it was given to him by his ''secret admirer'' i tell you! he zhi tao blush lor!! then he so evil.... he say eh like that i dun wan to eat the cake.. keep forcing me and darling to admit that we bought the cake for him... kuku one lei he... okays so end up we admitted and all.. sang a birthday song for him.. and yap he's happy i think... hope he did enjoy his birthday.. =) and this kuku make his wish aloud... =.=''

it even included me in can.. idiot... first he said he wished john and darling's loved one to be together forever... then second he aimed me saying hope wei xun and i find our loved one but he wishes that we two get together.. =.='' sickening.. that's like so impossible... =.='' third he started saying wad hope guang rong and jac get together... was we all zhi tao laugh lor! funny sia... he idiot.. then keep asking zin to give him birthday kiss.. =.='' lol.. keep pestering zin lor.. funny.. =) and zin's ''eeeee'' is super cute.. lol!! hahas.. anyways had a wonderful time.. then after study went back to find mr wilson... alright chat awhile... studied awhile and i head home.. slept around 12 plus like that... was super shag i tell you.. =)

sigh.. feeling very touchy today... like abit abit i will throw my temper... =.='' dunno why... my head is totally blocking all my energy to study... sigh.. how how? what should i do i can't get it in... perhaps another last minute study? i better try hard to memorise again... sigh.. computing system is a totally failure for me... i have given up on that paper.. because no matter how i want to memorise nothing seems to go in.. but for wireless everything can... sigh... alright shall blog soon.. gotta bounce... tata...

super stress and having very bad sinus.

2009-09-03T21:57:00.003+08:00

it's only 5 days before exams are here. am super stress like shit! oh my goodness!! it's so annoying!! hate this kind of feeling when exams are near and my mind isn't absorbing anything.. and sinus is definitely a hindrance to me! sickening! why of all times i must have my terrible irrtating sinus now! shit shit shit! it's so bad that when i sneeze or cough my rib cage hurts like hell.. totally hate this kind of feeling.... want to study but then the illness is making me sick and can't be able to concentrate... sigh... i also dun understand why but even the smallest thing my parents want to stress me.. =.=''

the other time i just wrote in my msn nick something to do with the betrayal thingy and ended with the word ''fuck you'' and there goes my parents asking me about it.. why am i so vulgar blar blar blar.. =.='' super annoying i tell you.. it's just a way of expressing my feelings towards something.. why do they have to bother about such things? it's so annoying that my parents in fact my family doesn't give me any privacy.. every detail of my life they also want to know...

keep asking and asking and bombard me with questions... super annoying... i'm thinking when will i be a grown up to them.. sigh... whatever it is i will not say anything... really.... i still think that trusting myself is the best... because i know i won't harm myself.... =) just that sometimes i really do need to count on my friends... they are the best.. =) really love them to bits... but i know some can betray you like shit... hahas.. i am a living example already... =) whatever it is i can't be bothered about such people who wants to trample on my feeling and bring me down...

i can't be bothered about such people really.... they are nothing but a bunch of losers who wants to trample on people's feelings... so to those idiots out there.. please wake up and stop wasting ur precious life.. you can do something nicer and enjoyable with ur life... stop trampling on people's weaknesss... thanks alot... =) alright shall stop blogging fer now... geting lazy already... tata.. =)

no more good friends.

2009-08-31T02:27:00.002+08:00

Seriously i realise ever since after graduating from secondary school, life in the outside world has so many different kind of people. Some are nice, some are nasty or even some who is a great pretender aka hypocrite or backstabbers. I feel that this kind of people seriously have nothing better to do and to sabotage other people. I really wonder why such people do exist? Basically i'm a living example. I thought in this current school i would have made wonderful friends. But what i didn't expect was a girl whom i thought she was my friend, backstabbed me. I seriously dunno what's her problem. Having her saying nasty things about me infront of my buddy. Saying things i never done. Claiming that i didn't bother to study for my exams. Such a liar! Just because i didn't do my part for the mini project everything to her seems like i'm always playing games and not caring about my studies. She can even tell my buddy not to call me when they are going for a study discussion. What kind of person can she get. Really am upset that i got backstabbed like fuck. I HATE HER! I really do. She Sucks!

back to blog again!!

2009-08-24T10:33:00.005+08:00

hahas! sorry guys it's been weeks since i've last blog.. finally not too lazy or busy already... wa time really passes so freaking fast!!! it's like 2 weeks and my exams are here!!! oh my goodness! i haven't been really sitting down to revise though i do revise abit... =p hahas! lol... hmm this few days nothing much to blog about except on my buddy's birthday celebration... had a wonderful time and at the same time it's a day where i will never forget man.. got stunned 2 times like shit sia... alright this is way too personally only close friends of mine know.. muhahaha! lols.. but it was really scary lor! because i never knew that people i know sure got link to other people i know.. freaking scary and singapore is way too small man... and i totally agree when people says that.. because it happens to me man... oh my goodness!!

ahh yes.. september i'm soo gonna be busy man.. i realise for my june and sept holidays is not really a holiday because i'm still so busy and people are booking me for outing and stuff.. oh man! really so busy and at the same time heart pain my $$ fly!!! wa i really can't imagine how much i''ll be spending after i work man... oh man! how i wish i can strike big big jackpot or win 4D or toto i'll be soo happy! because for the first time i'll feel super rich and i'll treat all my best friends a good meal! oh ya thanks to my buddy zien i'm super addicted to this song now! this is a very old song sang by STANDFAST dun even know if u guys ever heard of this band lor... neither have i... =x the song name is call car crashes... hahas... crap i'm soo addicted to this song already.. here's the lyrics...... alright lazy to go on.. will blog again when there's interesting things to blog about! tata!!

STANDFAST - CAR CRASHES

Car crashes, TV shows

A drunkard on the side of the road

People running (running)

Fantasy or reality

Analysis and theories

What does matter really?

Chorus

Tell me what to believe

Won't you bring me order

Tell me what to achieve

Baby, so I can move forward

Tell me what to beCar crashes, TV shows

A drunkard on the side of the road

People runnin', run

Credit cards in place of distress

Go live your life on the Internet

That's what this isConspiracies and mysteries

Science-fiction make-believe

My kind's misery

Chorus x2

Car crashes, TV shows

A drunkard on the side of the road

People runnin' (running)

(All these car crashes in my head)

Fantasy or reality

Analysis and theories

(All these car crashes)

What does matter really?

(All these car crashes)

Chorus x2

on here's another old song that is really nice too... called you are the one by C21...

C21 - YOU ARE THE ONE

It’s early in the morning

soon another day will dawn

I can’t wait to feel your arms

around me again

I believe that we could

lay down the world

together we could live

the dream that never ends

Open up the door

just a little more

baby let me in

You are the one, You are the one

who can make moments last forever

The one that makes the sun shine

where ever you go

why make it harder, than it has to be

just listen, I’ll give you love

if you’ll give me your heart

Everytime I near you

time is standing still

there’s nothing you can’t fix

with your heavenly smile

I would never leave you

my love is for life

taking things for granted

was never my style

Just give a little love

say you’ll never stop

I’ll do anything

You are the one, You are the one

who can make moments last forever

The one that makes the sun shine

where ever you go

why make it harder, than it has to be

just listen, I’ll give you love

If you’ll give me your heart

And I’ll do anything

if you give me your heart

ahh ahh yeah

I’ll do anything

You are the one, You are the one

who can make moments last forever

The one that makes the sun shine

where ever you go

give a little love

say you’ll never stop

and I’ll do anything

I’ll give you love

if you’ll give me your heart

ohhhhh ohhhhh

Where ever you go

you are the one

why make it harder, than it has to be

just listen, I’ll give you love

if you’ll give me your heart

finally i'm not lazy to blog! =)

2009-08-12T19:22:00.002+08:00

sorry fer the late update guys... well papa is safe and sound now... thank god for it.. =) but it was pretty bad he got artery blockage... it's like a few 80% and 50%... so the doctor did the balloon thingy and place a stem inside there too.. so right now daddy is on MC for 2 weeks... he can't do anything that is vigorious... now the 3 ladies at home is controlling his diet watching him... make sure he doesn't eat anything that is oily or salty... seriously thank god for letting us know earlier rather than he just suddenly collapse and had a heart attack..

was really worried for daddy... now he's on medication for 1 year my sis and i have to stop quarrelling already... if not it will affect dad's health... mum's birthday is tmr!! =) ya and guess what? sis and i haven't bought anything for her yet.. but will get it done tmr by hook or crooks... hahas.. and dad's bday we are celebrating on cruise.. so yes i'm going to cruise and get fat again!! wth lol!! soo fat already can... =.='' then sis bf is going i more sian half.. =.='' why because playing gooseberry...

i dun like sia.. =x ya then dad say must be fair since they brought my ''bf'' before so now it's sis turn.. alright wadeva.. but usually i go cruise i'll stick to daddy.. so i keep whinning to dad and mum... but it is really embarrassing to sleep with someone u dunno and some more i have bad habits... =.='' for example SNORING!! =.='' crap my secret is out! ahh what the heck! which girl doesn't snore! lols!! ya it's super embarrassing can.. =.='' sigh.. well darling and i plan to camp at mummy jac's place during exam period... why? First, transport to school is FREAKING NEAR! Second, we FREAKING NEED HELP FOR OUR STUDIES!!!!

crap!! exams are coming here i am still slacking.. but then again i'm quite happy because my study mood is here!! muhahaha!! so i can fully concentrate.. compare to last term one... haha... alright li yan u better jia you and get into a good poly and make daddy and mummy proud ya! alright i shall make a promise to my parents about this.. i have to study very hard in order to get a good job!! =) well after all sometimes it's a good thing to not have a boyfriend...

you can do whatever you want... though yes i do feel very envy about those people who has bf and it's pretty sensitive.. so ya still not too used to it yet.. shall break a record somehow or rather of being single for 1 year! hahaha! better right?? anyway i'm soo ugly and fat no one wants me lor! hahas... alright guys i shall stop here because i'm now back to pet society!! hahaha.. soo cute i can actually catch fish lor! =) happy happy!! ahh!! alright shall blog again soon..

oh for you guys information... i'm working at the PC Show again this September 10 to 13 so if wanna see me do give me a call i shall tell u which booth i am at... hahahas! alright toodles!!! =)

it's just 1 more hour and it's thursday.....

2009-08-05T23:15:00.002+08:00

1 more hour and it's thursday... dad's appointment had change to 10am.. so probably after school i'll call mum and make my way to the hospital... just finished sharing the video of ''kumar the drag queen'' with mum and dad... mum laugh her head off and so am i... he is really hillarious i tell you.. laugh the shit out of myself... the funny thing is i'm worried about dad but at the same time i do laugh with my friends and all.... but then again when i think about it that tmr is thursday i really get worried and scared man.. sigh... i really wish daddy is going to be fine... i dunno what to do.. sigh... feeling so exhausted and tired.. but my mind just keep thinking of daddy...

i guess i'm really worrying too much... mum said i have panda eyes already... i think i really look super haggard man... =.='' i want to sleep.. but my mind keep constantly thinking of daddy... just can't have a peace of mind till i know what happen tmr... sigh... will blog again.. =)

papa nothing must happen to you!

2009-08-03T22:05:00.002+08:00

supposely today was kinda fun.. hang out with mummy jac, cai porky and mich.. went to catch the movie harry potter.. alright was enjoying the movie but some idiot infront of us FARTED!! it's freaking smelly like shit larhz!!! soo pissed off.. practically half of the movie we have been smelling farts.. crap sia!! damn angry... then i created my own oxygen tank by zipping my jacket till the top and used the whole jacket to cover my nose with my hoodie on.. can u imagine i look like some kind of eskimo.. =.='' super retarded man.. but then again this chapter for harry potter isn't that bad as people describe to me but kinda boring.. nearly fall asleep... but some part super hilarious.. =)

on 31st july mama smsed me and asked me about potassium... because papa got a little too high level of potassium.. i didn't know wad was that.. i didn't check it till the next day... as i read about it.. i was feeling kinda worried... alright so i didn't want to think too much.. today had news from mama that papa needs to be hospitalized this coming thurs... as i hear the news i got really worried.. because doctor suspect there's something blocking papa's heart... which will lead to heart attack... when i heard that i burst into tears...

i'm really very worried about papa.. i dunno why suddenly he will have such illnesss.. very very worried.. even blogging now tears just keep falling... i really wish nothing will happen to papa.. i can't think of the worst.. it will be a huge blow to me... on friday i was hurt by some personal thing... today this happens.. it's already a double blow to me.. i dun wish anything else to happen... sigh... when i think back i broke another cup again just last saturday... i was thinking what happened to me?? how come i keep on breaking cups...

first was on 13 july (monday) then 1 aug (saturday) i was thinking how come i'm so suay.. =.='' then i think back probably that's the bad omen and it's giving a sign or something... and i got cut on my leg for the first cup i broke.. sigh... really very worried for papa.. i dun even know if i can sleep well or not.. sigh.. i dun wish to continue anymore.. shall blog again soon.. sorry guys..

a theif with no brains!

2009-07-27T11:11:00.003+08:00

hey hey!! it's been so long since i've last blog.. alright am back from msia!!! like long time... lol! hmm so far msia trip was okays larhz... wasn't that happy though... due to my personal reasons... sigh... anyways i've lots to tell everyone one of u guys here something... remember i was blogging about this guy shaun?? he's such a bastard man! and he's the most retarded theif EVER!!! i tell you!!

A THEIF WITH NO BRAINS!!! alright shall start my story... it was the day of our racial harmony event when i went to school... alright so we got our costumes... i wore the indian one... mr ismail got such huge pants for me!! zzz... have to like tie super tight.. everytime i walk my pants just keep dropping.. omg!! lol.. alright so we girls took our time to make up blar blar... as usual how girls will dress up right? hahas.. okays so like after half way through while we are giving out survery forms i went into

the library office there... guess what i saw?? i saw shaun ramping through our bags... i saw him look through cai feng's plastic bag... then i told aqilah to look also.. she saw him flipping through our stuff and the thing is he's also damn stupid he wants to prove to me that he is stealing... =.='' while he was doing that he saw me looking at him.. he still didn't bother.. =.='' stupid like hell!!! thank god before that i left my psp and ipod with john.. then my handphone and wallet with jac... because i know that cai feng lost $5 before and i suspect it was he did it.. but i was stupid enuff to not take out my earphones... alright so after wad i saw i told darling.. then i told jac to keep a look out..

and i purposely said out loud ''ehh jac u better watch out" then i walk out and continued giving out the surveys.. is also partly mr ismail ask us to not gather around inside too... subsiquently i went back to check on our bags.. then i realise both my bag zipper and darling's zipper was zip to the right hand side... because both of us has the habit when we have a bag that has 2 zip we will zip it to the centre... so it's obvious someone was touching our stuff right?? and the only person who was there is that shaun!! imagine how stupid he is... so when i noticed my bag was zip to the right i thought of my earphones... and true enough it was STOLEN!! i was super pissed like hell! because to me no music = no life!

yeah so already damn pissed... then i told darling to check if anything of hers is missing... none was missing... okays good.. so i decided to tell mr ismail.... told him everything and to my surprise he actually agreed with me and believed me... then that shaun saw me telling mr ismail.. i think he scared... so while moving some things he purposely left my earphones on the table for me to see it.. then i saw it i show it to mr ismail and i took it back... thank god for it! if not i'll be very very pissed...

after everything darling realise her earpiece for her handphone was actually stolen then later put back.. because the position of the earpiece she put was different... oh and also he's bunch of friends talk so loudly lor.. saying ''eh ask shaun to keep his earphone himself'' already so obvious... and this idiot also insulted me because i had throat infection you see so my voice totally change till sounded very low.. then he idiot talk to darling saying ''wa scare me i tot i heard one guy and one girl'' fuck sia!then i took my revenge by saying ''wa should tell mr ismail to put camera in the library since our library got theif dunno who sia" then i walk out.. hahaha!! he also tried acting nice to darling too.. soo fake lor..=.=''

see can u imagine how stupid this person can get??? he's really the world's dumbest person ever... crappiest shitty guy ever!! sickening bastard.. so fucking childish.. ask him go and die larhz... so childish like shit... talk till like so big.. not even matured to even talk to anyone can... irritating.. but really i was glad to have my things back... ya so that's my interesting story i wanna share with you guys... haha.. alright i think i've blog enough.. shall blog again soon... tata!

i'm sick... =(

2009-07-15T11:19:00.002+08:00

okays back to blog again.. well monday went k box with johannes, edwin, hui yi, teck leong, mummy jac, cai porky and darling... supposely to go school in the morning but couldn't wake up because went out late with zi en.. lols... oh ya zi en is my new online friend.. =) he's really nice as in we can talk and all.. first online friend that we still can keep in touch... =) okays back to monday.. yap went k box with them.. sing till throat want to die lor... mostly is darling and i singing only.. =.=''

had fun.. then went to play the catch doll thingy again.. i manage to get 4 items but i spend 7 bucks.... oh well.. but had fun.. =) then that night i went home.. crap.. not feeling very well.. had headache and throat wasn't feeling that good... so true enough morning i woke up with slight fever... dun worry it's NOT H1N1 OKAYS! i went to doctor fever was down.. but i had very bad throat infection.. =.='' so now i practically sound like shit.. can talk but then like no power like that.. lol.. haha... tmr will be going to genting.. sigh! dunno wad to do so boring!! omg!!! but i will try my best to enjoy the trip.. will blog about it when i'm back okays? alright shall stop here lazy to blog already.. tata.. =)

school reopened...

2009-07-06T23:44:00.002+08:00

today school reopen.. soo unfair!!! it's suppose to be youth day man! where's my holiday!! holiday is not enough!! sigh... again was late for school.. as usual... =.='' waiting for darling and john... today nothing much.. mr gan was on MC and mao tou ying took over... lol... dunno what's that teacher's name.. but darling they all said that he looks like an owl... which is some what true lol.. thanks to his grey and white hair.. hahas!

poor darling had cramps.. she wasn't in a good mood.. and plus i sort of ignored her cos i'm too obesses with my psp and all..that's part of it larhz.. and another part of it is because i know she's in a bad mood didn't want to disturb her much.. then keep talking to john about games.. then she felt soo left out.. sorry darling!! didn't mean too.. knew she was pissed because when i was about to go off she said something like tmr come or dun come oso no diff.. felt hurt after wad she said but i just pretend that i didn't get what she meant...

probably cos gaming is wad i love.. so when i talk about games i get too caught up that i dun pay attention to anything around me... then again ya i know she doesn't like to be left out.. it's individual.. for me i understand so i won't really probe on it much.. but fer her ya she feels left out.. so i must try to advert my attention to her.. didn't mean it to happen though.. sorry again...

just hope you understand that ya sometimes i get to caught up but that seriously doesn't mean anything to change between us.. be happy okays? dun so emo larhz.. if i talk about games then u try to advert my attention from it ya.. i will try not too talk too much infront of you also okays.. bad habits.. =.='' came home suppose to be a afternoon nap end up i slept from 5pm and woke up at 10.30pm... 5 hours lol.. but still feel very tired.. didn't feel like having dinner.. but dad bought it alrdy.. dun wanna waste money...

smsed darling she sounded pissed.. hmm hope tmr all's well.. shall stop here then.. will blog again.. =)

first time making sushi!!!

2009-07-04T00:21:00.005+08:00

hahas today was a fun day with my darling mei ling... we made SUSHI!! hahas... had a great time making sushi man!! woke up at about 9am.. then snooze my alarm then went back to sleep.. =.='' as usual.. lol! after that i jump up and was thinking how come darling haven't called me yet?? so i spammed call her.. never pick up.. end up she went to bathe... =.='' okays.. so we meet at bishan.. was practically waiting for her sms while i was playing dynasty warrior on my psp...

then i realise ehh how come soo long she didn't sms? then suddenly i heard my phone sms... okays.. took out and i realise she already did sms me earlier.. but i didn't hear the phone ring!! kns!! so i rush like one crazy woman.. imagine me wearing my flip flops running... =.='' soo noisy lor! hahas!! okays so we reached bishan.. we end up shopping around till like 1pm then we started buying the things and stuff.. haha.. =) soo kns right?

girls are like this... once come to shopping our eyes will be wide open.. =) lols! okays.. so i bought a new pouch for my psp.. oh i forgot to mention i lost my black psp pouch!!! sob.. there goes mummy's 15 bucks.. sigh... thank god it wasn't the PSP if not i'm gonna cry the shit out of me... =.=''
okays reached home.. we started at about 2.30pm... wa stand all the way till evening.. legs wanna break man.. then darling gotta go home early

as she got to work the next day... so i continue making the sushi till like 11pm.. that's including clearing up the kitchen and all.. am really proud of myself that i could make such edible sushi.. =) okays larhz credit myself abit.. it's a average nice edible sushi! hahas.. that's for a first timer okays! hahas... alright shall stop here already larhz.. wanna rest early.. here's some pic of the sushi... it's freaking alot!! =.='' oh wanted to upload the video of me cutting the salmon but... i'm soo freaking ugly in there.. soo ya i won't upload it.. hehe!! =) thanks darling for coming and teach me sushi! my mum said to come again and make sushi.. hahas! love ya!

salmon!! =) my horrible slicing of the fish aka sashimi.. =.=''

the humongous sushi quantity! =) alot right... hahas.. please do grab some..=x

crap i saw him online.. when i saw him just sign in.. i really dunno what to do.. my heart stop beating for the moment.. why do i feel a sudden sadness overcoming my heart? sigh... it seems like my emo-ness hasn't been gone fully.. it's always there when night comes.. i just want to move on.. but it seems so hard to let it go entirely... sigh... my heart hurts badly... feel like crying now.. sigh...

happiest day ever!!

2009-07-01T00:14:00.007+08:00

today was my happiest day ever!! so far i've been really sad and all.. but today outing with my bestest friend nadiah was the best!! freaking fun i tell you.... we had mac d fer lunch then went to check out at gmask at bishan... hmm... didn't have much varities for the design.. so decided to head over to plaza sing which we want to eat at gelarie... head to plaza sing first thing was i went to see gmask... hahas.. freaking nice larhz.. then decided on one design.. but they dun come with the colour black and red.. it comes out pink and green.. =.=''

i dun want larhz... then choose the winnie the pooh one.. wa worse.. freaking expensive i already have to pay 59 bucks for it but plus another 9 bucks for the disney license... =.='' crap... thanks to nadz! she spotted this butterfly one.. freaking nice too.. soo final decision that was it.. hahas!! after that we headed to level 3 to find gelarie!!! BUT!! gelarie was closed down... wth!! we were soo happy becos today was tuesday then got half price end up dun have.. =.='' sickening!!!

then nvm.. end up we went to eat cakes at secret receipe... we both had the tea time special.. i ordered white chocolate macademia cake and nadz had chocolate banana... both of us had ice lemon tea.. wa the cake is freaking big lor.. worth the money i tell u... =) my cake is super nice.. enjoyed it alot.. tastest like milky way chocolate.. hahas!! nadz banana chocolate is nice too.. but i still prefer mine... hehe.. >.<

after that we head to the arcade upstairs.. then we tried to catch the minnie mouse doll.. but it's soo freaking hard.. then played the sweet thingy.. idiot soo hard to drop.. wasted freaking $20 there.. then we head down to gmask to collect my phone... hahas.. it's really very beautiful man!! love it alot... hahas.. then as we walk pass.. we saw the catching dolls machine.. omg!!

u know the dolls there are soo much nicer.. and the people there is so much better... they have very good service u know.. teach us how to catch and all.. wa both of us really spend like another 20 bucks there just to get the cinnamon doll.. it's soo freaking cute can!!! but we were soo happy when we finally got it... and there's this aunty she's the sweetest person ever... she spend 30 bucks on it and finally caught it she just gave it to us...

such a sweet person it's soo rare now a days... thank god for having such a nice lady.. and thank god for answering me prayers.. praise god!! =) really such a nice lady... =) yap so nadz and i were skipping for joy as we were on our way back home... hahas... alright shall upload the pictures we took.. hahas... =) best day ever!! =) miss ya girlfriend!!

hahas the prize winners for the day!!! yes we both got the same one.. =)

* i realise i look different in this pic man... hahas..*

some random pics of us... it's been awhile since we last taken photos together.. hahas.. =) love this girlfriend of mine alot!

there this is the cutie pie cinnamon!! =) cute right?? dun be jealous.. it's mine!!! muahaha!!!

my beautiful phone... loving it man! =) nice right?? hahahs!! sickening mummy say soo ugly... =.='' but I TOTALLY LOVE IT!!! =)

trip to msia!

2009-06-29T22:45:00.002+08:00

hahaha! i'm back from the trip to msia! it was pretty fun man.. though it's like 2 days 1 night trip... but still i've already missed home when i'm there.. haha.. when we arrived it was like lunch time... we had lunch at the restaurant then head to the ''meeting'' room then we played treasure hunt organise by the people who worked at the pulai spring resort...

the thing is the treasure hunt isn't a treasure hunt... it's more of like quiz lol.. =.='' okays my team is form of all the girls.. we were practically playing amazing race larhz.. our team keep running here and there.. lol! other teams was taking their own sweet time kinda thing.. we were so confident that we will get 1st... end up get 3rd.. KNS!! still we won $60 NTUC voucher lol!! hahas..

not too bad eh?? hahas... then we head back to the meeting room to collect our luggage then we went to check to our hotel room... the thing is this stupid person who issued the card gave us the wrong one!!! idiot... the card holder states there the anuragaha *forgot how to spell* then dad and i went all the way there and was about to walked in.. then this guy stop us and ask if we needed help... so i asked the guy this is the hotel anuragaha right?? he said yap.. then he took our card and check..

then he said oh this is our main hotel cintaayu... near the security office.. blar blar.. he explain too fast.. but told us the direction.... then okays dad and i u turned back.. then we saw his collegues heading our way.. we told them no it's not here it's over there... it's at cintaayu... then they said ''huh!! we just came from there... then they told us it's not there it's here..." i was like "huh!! we just came out from the lobby there then they told us say it's the other one... " all confused... =.=''

then we asked the person who is working there they said ohh sorry they gave you the wrong card holder... KNS!!! we all keep walk here and there like idiots sia.. =.='' okays nvm... soo dad and i checked in the hotel.. settled down unpack our toiletries then i went to take a shower... the room is pretty big and spacious.. very nice actually.. =) okays... DINNER TIME!!

so we were told in the itinerary that we are having BBQ for dinner.. okays it looks nice... soo happily went to take the food.. end up... =.='' the food was like really yucky man... the beef and the soup was okays.. the rest sucks.. esp my favourite food SAUSAGES!!! sob... it was a real disappointment man!! aii yoo.. really very sad that my sausages doesn't taste like it... everyone was disappointed with the food..

okays then KARAOKE SESSION!! yes i love to sing... BUT!! there were way too many ppl.. soo ya my shyness overcome me... didn't sing... though one of my dad's collegue sabo me.. =.='' but yea the guy didn't key in my song.. soo yap.. lols.. okays ended karaoke at 1am.. couldn't tahan.. went back change my clothes and boom.. went to bed.. was freaking tired lol...

then woke up at 8.45am bathe and had breakfast.. breakfast was better compared to the BBQ.. had fried bee hoon,scrambled eggs and sausages!!! hehehe... lol!! oh and orange juice.. haha.. yap.. after that we head back to our room pack our things and left for SHOPPING!!! ohh i'm soo happy i bought 2 blouse, fake eye lashes *it's freaking good buy i tell you $2 for one lor!!!* hahas... then bought swimming costume for mummy and erm socks... yap.. that's it..

didn't buy much because prices was the same as singapore... and the things they have there is oso the same.. like mini toons, action city etc... lols... might as well go s'pore buy right?? hahas.. yap soo that's my trip at msia... hahas.. nothing much but then had a wonderful time too... sigh.. soo boring!!! dunno what to do.. already finish typing about my trip to msia... till now still feel soo emo.. dad asked me if i was still feeling sad or not.. this and that.. keep telling me same old thing ai ya u too young to have a bf.. blar blar..hahas...

i know he's worried about me.. but ya.. i still think of him.. still feeling emo.. esp when i'm alone... still think about things.. sigh... oh well.. life still has to move on.. =) alright then i shall stop here.. will blog again~~~ =) tata!! oh last but not least TMR I'M MEETING MY GF NADIAH!!! it's been super long since i've last met her!! miss her!! yay yay!! tmr we are going to have a wonderful time together!! =)

what should i do?

2009-06-26T23:17:00.002+08:00

sigh... ytd something happened that i didn't expect it to happened... jacqueline suddenly was hospitalized for operation on her appendix... i really felt so worried for her.. and i can't bear to be angry with her any longer.. felt so confused for the minute.. sigh.. i prayed to god and him to watched over her... i know he will and she will be fine.. about that incident i dun wish to think of it anymore.. it's really annoying.. and i can't be bothered seriously...

i dunno how people think that it's so easy to just forgive and forget just like that.. i seriously can't do it.... it's so hard to just forgive and forget after being betrayed by their friend... i can't find a way how i should just do it.. like for example i just finished watching this japanese show called "zettai kareshi" i really admire the girl named "riko" i really dunno how she can just forgive her friend "mika" when her friend tried to steal her boyfriend... really envy her man..

i dun think i have that kind of heart to be able to do so.. though i was taught to be like that.. well i think i could try... no harm trying right? but whatever it is.. i dun wish there's any problem in my life anymore... i'm so sick and tired of problems... sigh.. i just hope jacqueline is feeling better now... i'm sorry for all my vulgarities... will blog again soon.. i'm leaving for msia tmr.. will be back on sunday i think around afternoon to late afternoon... tata!!~~ =)

THE WORST FRIENDS EVER! BLOODY BETRAYERS!

2009-06-24T21:51:00.006+08:00

WOW!!! got good news today man!! i found out two of my friends, NO correction used to be my friends BETRAYED me!!! they are one mother fucker ccb tmd pu bor fuck heads lor! one is call shaun one is call jacqueline.. surprised right?? after seeing how i state that they are such a good friend... BUT I AM FUCKING WRONG MAN!!! ever since this stupid shaun sms me saying wad i everything oso want to care this and that he told me off by saying just talk about library stuff related...

alright so forget it since he doesn't treat me as a friend then okays lor i will respect his decision by just talking to him about library stuff... then today i use the library computer... TADA!!! i found out the person who wrote those nonsense in my tag is none other than the stupid guy shaun... i can confirm this because in my school only jacqueline, cai feng, mei ling know my blog link... and thanks to jacqueline she always soo kay po keep reading my blog... and ya the library computer mostly is shaun use.. soo not him then who?? he is the greatest suspect like shit!

fucker man!!! i'm super fucking angry and feel like slapping the shit out of them... first of all i dunno how the hell he got the idea i like him or in fact how the hell he was convinced that i like him... like wtf lor... FIRST LET ME STATE CLEARLY!! I DUN LIKE AH BENGS OR IN FACT PEOPLE WHO SMOKE OR PEOPLE WHO IS YOUNGER THAN ME! PLEASE GET THIS MESSAGE INSIDE YOUR HEAD FUCKERS! STOP RUINING MY REPUTATION LIKE I'M SOME GEYLANG WOMAN WHO IS SO DESPERATE TO FIND A GUY TO FUCK CAN!

KNN PCB!!! SECOND JUST BECAUSE I WAS KAN CHIONG WHEN TAKING MEDICINE FOR HIM DOESN'T MEAN I AM INTERESTED IN HIM!!! FOR GOODNESS SAKE HE LOOK SUPER PALE AND GAVE ME THE IMPRESSION HE CAN ANYTIME JUST FAINT DO YOU FUCKING EXPECT ME TO TAKE MY OWN SWEET TIME??!! USE UR FUCKING BRAINS WOULD YA! PCB.. OH YES I'M REFERING TO YOU JACQUELINE!

AND YA U SAY THAT I SO EXAGGERATING TILL MUST RUN RIGHT? AND SAY THAT I DIDN'T DO THE SAME FOR YOU ALL RIGHT??!! U COMPARE THE SITUATION CAN! SINCE WHEN ARE YOU GUYS SICK TILL THIS KIND OF EXTEND?? EVEN MEI LING GOT HEADACHE DIDN'T I CARE FOR HER??? YOU THINK ABOUT IT CAN!

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME KNOWING THAT I'M ALREADY HAVING PROBLEMS WITH SOMEONE?? OKAYS LOR GOOD LOR.. YOU WIN LIAO! EVERYTHING GIVE U SAY TILL MY REPUTATION IS DAMN POOR LIAO... AND JUST BECAUSE I SAY SHAUN IS A GREAT FRN DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE HIM LARHZ! USE UR HEAD LEI! WA LIAO SOO FUCKING CHILDISH.. THEN I SAY SAMUEL A GREAT FRIEND MEANS I LIKE HIM AR! THEN I SAY CHEE KEAT GOOD MEANS I LIKE HIM IS IT???

SO TO UR VOCABULARY MEANS ANY GUY I SAY WHO IS GOOD MEANS I LIKE LARHZ... KNN U FREAKING NO BRAIN LOR! I DUNNO WHAT THE HELL YOU TELL SHAUN OR WHAT SHAUN TELL YOU BUT ALL I KNOW IS THAT SHAUN U ARE SUCH A CRAPPER.. SAYING WHAT SCARED OF ME? PLEASE LARHZ U THINK TOO MUCH LIAO LARHZ.. PLEASE DO SOME SELF RELECTION CAN!! SO THICK SKIN THINKING THAT I WILL LIKE YOU?? COME ON! GET A LIFE MAN! GIVING EXCUSES OF ME TREATING YOU TOO GOOD MEANS NOT USED TO IT..

DUN LIKE SAY IN FRONT OF MY FACE LARHZ.. SAY TILL LIKE WA LIAO WAD SCARED I CRY THIS AND THAT..THIS IS MY PROBLEM WHETHER I CRY OR NOT.. DUN ACT LIKE A GENTLEMAN... WHEN YOU ARE NOT!! =.='' I WON'T DO STUPID THINGS FOR YOU!! OVER MY DEAD BODY!!

SO HUM JI FOR WAD! NOT HAPPY SAY IN FRONT OF ME DUN BE A IDIOT HIDE LIKE A FUCKER WITH NO BALLS!! FOR UR INFOMATION I HAVE MANY GUY FRIENDS SO YOU ARE NO DIFFERENCE FROM THEM OKAYS! SO PLEASE DUN THINK SO HIGHLY OF URSELF CAN! CCB!

THIS IS THE WORSE BLOG EVER I HAVE TO BLOG TO THINK THAT SUCH PEOPLE REALLY DO EXSIST!! OH YA ASK ME TO FUCK OFF AND GO HOME THINK IT'S UR LAO BEI LIBRARY AR! TMD!! U OPEN UR EYES BIG AND SEE LEI WHO IS THE ONE WHO LIKE YOU CAN OR NOT! WOW EVEN MY SMS TO YOU JACQUELINE ALSO KNOW LEI! MAYBE YOU LIKE HER INSTEAD!! CONGRATS AR!!! OH YA FOR YOUR INFOMATION IN CASE U ARE TOO DUMB TO KNOW, MY SMS TO YOU IS JUST A MERE CONCERN AS A FRIEND AND I DO CARE ABOUT ALL MY FRIENDS BE IT GUYS OR GIRLS SO PLEASE DUN TAKE IT TOO PERSONALLY!

THANKS AR I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF U DO THAT... =) IF I LIKE U I WOULD HAVE ALREADY BLUSH WHENEVER THEY MENTION UR FUCKING NAME! DID I OR NOT? USE UR BRAIN TO THINK LEI... TMD SI XIAO DI DI WANT ACT TILL SO MATURED....

FUCKING HAVEN'T GROW UP LARHZ! TMD... FROM NOW ON I CANNOT TRUST ANYONE EXCEPT THIS FEW PEOPLE REGINA, NADIAH, CHEE KEAT,MEI LING, SHING YI AND YVONNE. THIS ARE THE PEOPLE WHO ARE TRUE TO ME!! UNLIKE THOSE BITCHES AND BASTARDS OUT THERE! I HATE YOU GUYS!! FUCK OFF YOU BLOODY BETRAYERS!!!

ps: i oso realise having a bf is also one of the good thing.. at least you won't be frame for liking someone u dun even like.. =)

nothing better to do...

2009-06-22T18:35:00.004+08:00

well today practically rot at home the whole day... why? first i got no $$!!! freaking broke... been out real late on friday and saturday... came home round 2am like that.. saturday came home about 3am.. an hour difference.. haha.. =) oh well.. friday had a huge quarell with sis.. then i realise that i'm such a terrible person.. i can't be a good girlfriend, friend or even a family member...

sigh... it's like 3 times the blow to me... i was really stressed out... did silly things... dun wish to mention... almost wanted to took a stick of cigarette to smoke.. but i controlled... then again ya.. got scars on my hand.. and finger.. sigh.. ever since that day i've been not myself.. every single night i'm always emoing... or in fact when i'm alone... i'm just not used to it.. really not used to being alone...

when i'm alone.. my tears just keep falling... it just wouldn't stop.. i'm sorry guys if i'm being not myself lately.. i just need more time to get hold of myself... i feel so rejected by everything.... maybe i am useless who knows... sigh... alright i shall stop being emo fer awhile...

ah yes.. last night i watched this show the reader... it's a pretty nice story about WWII germany.. but then again i didn't quite understand the polictical views why they send the woman (hanna schmiz aka kate whislet) to jail for life.. or in fact why she is being sabotage... and poor her she's illiterate and yet she bare the full consequences for everything...

the show is pretty x rated... but it's a nice romance show too... but the thing is why a 15 year old and a 36 year old woman!! oh man!! look at the age gap difference.. i wonder how the guy manage to xxxx her man.. lol! but then again i was admiring the actor name david kross... he is soo CUTE!!! haha!! *drools* ya and in real life david kross is only 18 and kate winslet is 33 years old.. =.=''

and i really wonder how they act the show man.. =.='' oh well that's the disadvantage of being a actor or actress too.. can't find the pretty babes or hunk to do something so intimacy... hahas! okays enough of my dirty thoughts.. well i guess today will be a tv entertain for myself.. and so is tmr.. and wed to friday back to school...

oh ya i'll be away for 2 days 1 night going to msia with daddy and his company... yap... heard that it's a nice resort kinda thing... i dunno.. yap alright shall blog again soon... and yes last but not least... ILA~~~~ you sound like u really like dayan soo muchy u know.... haha!! let me know when u two get together i'll be the first to congratulate u! hahas... =) alright tata for now.. =)

hehe bonus for the girls this is the cutie german actor david kross! *drools even more* =)

first time riding a motorcycle~~

2009-06-18T01:11:00.003+08:00

okays gonna blog about tuesday.. well suppose to be in school at 8.30am end up i reach school at around 12pm like that.. was really tired man.. the previous night i dunno why i can't sleep.. so was watching CSI... haha.. interesting story i should say... then tuesday we were literally rotting in school larhz.. then mummy jac, cai pork and me decided to go little india to get the henna tattoo.. but then this stupid shaun so idiot dun wan to accompany us go..

the 3 of us are scared to go there because alot of ah neh neh... =.='' then they love to stare at girls.. it will be very weird fer us to go alone without a guy with us right? so i keep flipping through my contact list.. called ck but he's on duty.. so can't accompany us.. called fz but he's going out.. also not free.. even called johannes... he also not free! kns.. soo many people.. then i thought of samuel.. so okays called him..

this stupid sea lion still sleeping... =.= *oh ya i call him sea lion hehe..* then i keep begging him like hell.. he keep on saying see how first see how first... =.='' end up okays.. he say let him sleep fer awhile.. so end up i let him sleep fer an hour plus.. then mummy jac reminded me to called him.. lol.. then mummy jac gtg like at around 7.45pm in order to reach home before 9pm... sian lor... then i dun wan to go home so early... wanna shop shop around...

oh ya then i check the gmask shop out.. and enquired how much is it to make the handphone skin for my phone.. it cost $59!!! omg!! soo expensive larhz.. but then after reading the brochre they provided it sounds so convincing that the print of the skin will not fade off even if i accidentally scratched it, it ensures a weather-resistant flim cover, last up to 7 years or more, is perfect for outdoor last but not least reduces fingerprint marking...

see sound so worth the money right! but i'm still considering larhz... but then again.. the prints they display there looks super nice and attractive larhz... super falling in love with it.. i shall give my precious phone a make over to make her feel pretty! LOL!! hahas... =) oh ya then after that finally i managed to beg samuel to accompany me go shop shop at plaza sing... haha so funny larhz.. had a funny and wonderful time with him..

i keep tickling him and bully him lor... but he oso got bully me.. =.='' keep saying i eat so slow.. then help me eat my fries.. =.='' not only that walk to whatever shop also keep saying can see me everywhere.. so many pig... then i say you wait i go find one sea lion for you.. then you know.. as we are shopping at comics connection i happen to see this winnie the pooh hp strap then pooh is dressed up in a sea lion costume... i keep laughing my head off and say samuel there i saw you!! hahhas!! then he was like wtf! then u see his face sian diao like that =.='' lol! hahas..

soo funny.. then we both keep teasing each another.. hahas.. funny larhz.. yap going home was something "new and special" to me.. i didn't know samuel was such a gentleman to send me home.. haha.. though we are friends only i didn't expect much man.. when mummy jac first saw samuel she told me that he will send me home.. i say how u know.. then she keep smile smile.. =.=''

then i saw he brought 2 helmet.. but i didn't think so much because i thought he would like meet his friends or fetch his friend somewhere.. so i didn't think so much.. then he later he ask me where i stay and how to travel to my place from plaza sing.. i still very kuku i really dunno he sending me home.. =.=''

then until we are in the lift i ask him you bring extra for who lol! then he said fer u larhz.. then i abit stunned then i say wa so good?? then he say then? haha then i said thank you... *in a very happy and excited way* lol.. because never ever ride a motorcycle before what! always wanted to try.. but then scared.. =.='' then okays i told him ehh i never ride a motorcycle before so is either ur shoulder pain or waist cos i sure squeeze u i very scared...

he was like wa liao eh.. lol! then ok as we are on the way to find his motor i asked him ur motor behind got thing or not.. then he said got alot of thing.. =.='' then i was like orh okays.. then he bluff me by faking me that the other motor was his.. kns.. then he started laughing.. =.='' okays lor tio fake liao.. then never mind.. i also dunno how to wear helmet... very kuku right.. i didn't know must tighten till 2 finger spacing i thought wear on abit tight can liao.. LOL! then okays riding time.. the moment he go i scream abit =.='''' bth me right?? zzz...

then keep on grabbing his shirt.. i pity him sia.. i think his bday i got to buy him a new shirt.. give me pull and grab from M size become L size.. lol! sorry sea lion!! hahas.. but overall was really fun riding a motorcycle at the same time really scary.. esp when he brake.. really not used to it.. because when i drive my braking is super smooth lol! hahas.. =) yap so that's all on tuesday.. really had fun..

alright i'll always remember that 16 june 2009 is the day i first rode a motorcycle and it's super fun.. haha.. =) ya but of course this is a secret if my parents were to knew it i'm going to be skin alive.. =.='' yes i really mean it man.. so friends or peeps out there please keep it a secret.. thanks! hahas.. =) alright i shall go to bed now.. tata... =) will blog again soon....

told daddy about him.. he told me that this kind of guy no point waiting.. daddy is so cute.. he keep telling me dun be too hurt about it.. though i'm very hurt about it and really dun dare to fall in love again... sigh... i really dunno what to do.. i only know that i have to let go and move on.. and i've decided to move on... no point waiting.. i'll take the initiative to break up... because after all other girls are always more important to him.. i'm always the last.. why not i find a guy who can love me for who i am? a guy who can accept my looks and size and my personality... i'm just waiting for that guy to show up.. but then again i will only enjoy looking at guys.. even if i like the guy i'll just telling myself i'm never good for him and he will not like me that's the only way for me to prevent me from getting hurt again... li yan is dead and gone... thanks alot to my girlfriends esp darling mei ling.. you are always there to support me.. so is mummy jac.. thanks girls.. i shall enjoy my single-ness again.. =) *her heart hurts alot*

PC show finally over!!

2009-06-15T19:35:00.003+08:00

yes larhz!! PC show is finally over!! legs can rest more now.. today got up at 11am like that.. because gotta go school and have the stupid racial harmony meeting... KNS lor! go all the way to school just discuss a bit with the interactive club members then go home liao.. =.='' early i know i dun bother to come lor.. when i arrived at the library darling saw me and first thing she said WA your eye bag so worse ar! so black lol.. =.=''

i also know.. because this few days very tired... then have to wake up early and go home late.. haha.. but overall i enjoyed the PC show alot.. i just decided the first thing i'm gonna do after i get my pay is to give my handphone a new cool stylo skin man! i'm so clumsy can.. sigh.. bought my this precious phone like almost 1 mth.. then i drop.. =.='' drop never mind lei got scratches at the back lol!!!

i super heart pain i tell you.. but never mind! phone phone i'm so gonna make u pretty okays.. =) love my phone alot.. hehe.. =) tmr i'll have to be in school at 8.30am... =.='' wa soo tired lor.. i dun feel like going anywhere.. but it's like i have to leave home.. most probably friday or sunday i'll be rotting at home.. i dun mind.. miss home man.. then at home i oso have to do things.... like do the laundry larhz clean my room.. and ya change my bedsheets!! stinks already.. sigh....

very tired!! where's mummy when i need her!!! sobbing!! oh well.. have to bear with it till she gets back home.. haha.. hope mummy is enjoying herself there.. =) alright shall blog again.. lazy to type already.... tata!

it's been 1 mth since we've last contacted.. are we still together?? when people ask me if i'm attached or not i dunno how to reply.. sigh.. i realise i'm really so hideous looking.. sigh.. maybe that's why he chose to left me..... really dunno what to do.. my heart is dead and gone...

PC SHOW!!!

2009-06-13T23:44:00.005+08:00

hahahas! hey guys sorry fer the long delay of updating my blog.. was busy at the PC show... wa my legs are killing me larhz.. sob... aching like mad... thurs and friday already got so many people.. today worse.. =.='' but i guess since tmr is the last day it is going to be HELL!!! cfm can't breathe lor.... Tmr will be coming home much later as got to help tear down everything... very tiring... won't have enough rest..

monday morning.. hehe.. darling and i bringing ken go gai gai... then later bring him to our school.. oh btw ken he is a malaysian... =) he is our collegue from the same shop... but he's promoting zeno.. a pimple destroyer.. lol.. but somehow or rather it looks like recorder.. funny!! keep disturbing him lol....oh ya!! then the booth opposite us is super funny larhz!! this uncle keep announcing on his mic ''blow wind blow'' ''come on... come on..." funny larhz.. then keep waving his hand with the product...

all of us there laugh till we all bth... then my so call boss cum friend name naseer he went to go and disturb him larhz.. because the computer is connected to this huge huge speaker... then he went to the control panel there the speech and type come on.... come on... LOL!! then he play so loud.. imagine the mono tone guy who said come on.. come on... HAHA soo lame larhz!!

this year show is fun.. keep having fun while working... haha.. oh ya... then i was late fer work today.. crap... i didn't know i throw my clothes to the dryer but didn't press the ON button... Kns!! then morning wake up was thinking ooo my clothes is dry... then when i open... TADA~~~~ it's still WET!!!! F**K!!!! LOL... then ya that's how i became late... =.='' anyway today i make sure it will never happen again.. i'm soo gonna press the ON button and hear it make noise before i leave it... =.=''

oh ya.. and i sprain my wrist again... ehh i can't remember if i wrote on my previous post that i sprain my wrist... yes after the stupid guy who threw the bball at me so freaking hard when it's soo freaking near distance then i got my old injury.. =.='' but ya.. somehow or rather after coming back from cruise i dunno how the hell i sprain my wrist.. soo pain.. then the doctor wrap my hand till got rashes sia.. then i never wear my wrist guard.. but it still hurts.. sigh.. oh ya..

yesterday i regretted wearing my stupid everlast shoe... end up my leg behind got very bad blister till my skin was being rip off and left the flesh exposed... wa liao! freaking pain larhz!! all thanks to that stupid everlast shoe.. soo NIKE ROCKS MAN!!! hehe... yes totally love NIKE!!! woot! still aiming nike bag lor.. then sis keep give me so much comments make me sian diao.. =.='' haiz... alright i shall stop here now... gonna spot check on my clothes.. tata everyone!!!

here's some picture of my pig hand... =)

after wrapping my hand with the bandage this is the result... RASHES!!

my skin... =.=''

my injuried leg.... the zoom out...

the zoom in version.... =)

sigh... this few days working at the PC show keep seeing NS guys.. it really remind me of him... i seriously miss him badly.... and i realise wherever i go ever since the day we held hands we heard the song ''ai de zhu xuan liu and liang shan bo yu ju li ye" i keep hearing it... even though we are at the verge of breaking i still hear this song on last thurs and today... i keep hearing the song "TiAmo, ai de zhu xuan liu" all this meaning full love songs.. sigh.. why?? why?? is it a sign for me? what does it means??? i'm really in a dilema... sigh...

sighh...

2009-06-10T21:35:00.003+08:00

3rd day he still didn't contact me... sigh... it's been 3 days i've cried myself to sleep... dunno if today i'll cry myself to sleep or not.. sigh... oh ya tmr i'll be working at IT show.. so guys wanna find me come level 6 booth 1972 LOL!! haha... but dun laugh at me ar... lol.. oh ya i didn't mention i've SPRAIN MY WRIST!!! sobbing.. T.T soo painful lor.. now like pig hand... write oso pain, eat oso pain, typing now on the lappy oso pain... sigh... i dunno when it will recover... i think maybe quite a while.. i keep overstraining my hand.. or maybe it's psychology thinking... dunno...

i really dunno what to do... i keep thinking of him.. i really do love him alot.. but then.. when i think of the things he has done to me i'm super turn off.. and totally pissed till really want to end things with him... but how! what should i do?? find out that samuel is a wonderful friend too... haha he so funny and cute larhz.. knowing that i'm sad he still accompany me chat and once chat on the phone.. so funny.. super shy like anything.. dots.. oh ya then guess what he fell asleep lol!! funny... haha...

ya but he's nice to disturb lor.. though he so ah beng ah beng.. haha.. =) well then again thanks alot samuel aka sea lion fer brightening up my day.. Esp my 3 girlfriends darling mei ling, mummy jac and cai porky... you 3 are super caring fer me... you guys took care of me though i've hurt my hand... cut the meat fer me, take the fork for me and even carry and buy my food fer me.. thanks alot guys i totally appreciate it alot... sorry that i punch the toilet table soo hard... but it was really frustrating and depressing it was just to vent my anger on something...

thanks fer all of ur concern... =) they are like the cutest friend... when i'm emo they all emo together with me.. haha.. nah probably because i'm their main "happiness" with me being emo it's like there's no ''happiness'' there.. so i can't be emo all the time.. i will always put on my smile fer the people i love and care.. i can't bear to see anyone sad.. it's okays that i'm sad but definately not the ones i love... yes i admit i care fer others more than myself... but some people thinks i'm bullshitting... so ya.. those who

knows me well will know wad kind of person i am... alright i'll stop here now.. gtg to bed... tmr will be a long day fer me.. nights all.. sweet dreams...

i really do miss him alot and still love him.. but what should i do? he treats me like i'm not his girlfriend he rather spend his credit to call other girls than me... am i such a useless girlfriend? am i a disgrace to him?? i really dunno what to do.. *really depressed*

what should i do??

2009-06-09T15:11:00.002+08:00

sigh.. i received his sms last night... he apologise and did explanations to me.. but it's only when mich have to remind him then only he know wad to do... i'm so sick and tired of this... sigh... when i want things to go right it always fall in the wrong place.. really duno what to do.. will blog when i get home... sigh...

it's so over...

2009-06-08T00:11:00.002+08:00

i guess it's over for us... i called him to hear it from him but it seems like he avoided me... so... ya... probably i got his answer.. i'm really disappointed to the extend that break up is the best solution... i can't imagine him to call other girls while he doesn't even call me.. like my friends said we are a couple in name... just fer the sake of the name we are together...

at first he gave me hope... then he's also the one who trashes all of it.. i thought i could be better.. but it seems like it's all my wishful thinking... like i said i blame no one except myself... now i have to explain to my family... it's really very embarrassing to like one min have a bf the next break up.. i'm so sick of it and it's no difference from being a flirt.... i think it's better being single fer a moment...

sort out all my thinking and learn how to reject the bad and get the best... it seriously hurt more than i can imagine... i dunno if i could handle... probably i'll change to another li yan... but definately no one knows me better than myself.... because i dun like my frns to see me sad... so i'll put my happy smile to see them laugh and be happy... it's okays that people around me are happy.. i hate people especially those whom i loved to be sad... not say hate but dislike.. because it hurts... ya... but i think i should

start caring for myself abit more... but the thing is i can't... it's hard fer me to put myself first then others... i really dunno how to do that... deep down i'm just a ordinary girl next door who is feeling hurt and need someone's comfort but... sigh... i dunno how am i going to face my best friends.. i thought this would be the final one... and settled! but it's more complicated then i expected...

first i didn't knew my frn would fall fer the same guy as me... then now this... sigh... li yan... u have got urself into such big problems man... everytime having so much problems... sigh.... i doubt i can ever trust any guy.. though i say this so many times i admit they are very nice to u as a friend.. to the extend u can actually fall fer them.. but when it comes to r/s... everything seems soo different.... different then u expect... sigh.. i dun wish to say anymore.. more of stabbing myself in the heart.. i'll just have to move on... life goes on..

haha silly mum and sis.. trick me into biting the fake bread... =.='' LOL! ya at least i know no matter what happens my family will be there for me... my hand is getting worse.. the pain spread till near the elbow there.. sigh..... i guess i'm too ugly and fat that i chase all the guys away.. haha! alright i shall go to bed now... dun wanna think so much... tata...

more and more emo...

2009-06-05T01:43:00.002+08:00

hey there! back to blog again... well... i think it is going to be 1 month since i've last seen him... after telling him how i feel.. okays.. smsing me did improve a bit.. but then again he tends to forget... and now phone calls are getting so restricted... i dunno what i should do... sigh... i feel like having a bf and not having a bf makes no difference... i'm still alone... when i needed him he's not here with me... when i'm lonely and need to talk to someone he's not even there to listen to me....

sigh... what should i do?? i'll just let nature take it's course.. i'm tired of crying over him and sometimes tired of caring fer him.. because it seems like he doesn't care fer me either... or in fact love me... i dunno.. but to my conclusion i've realise love doesn't lasts forever...it's just a matter of time... i'm so tired of changing and finding new bf... it's so tiring... not only that u have to build that mutual trust again and tell him everything about me... sigh... spending this few days at the library in school had in fact brighten up my day...

shaun is a great friend.. though i like to irritate him.. but ya arguing with him is fun... having darling to back me up and bully him it's even funnier... haha.. ya this few days i've been staying up late in school... busy thinking of racial harmony thingy... oh ya till i think i lack of sleep till i have terrible headache... till now.. =.='' told him i not feeling well.. i think he didn't even bother to read that part.. not even a phrase saying " better take care drink more water ya if not i will heart pain" not even this.. not even "take care and drink more water"....

sigh... hurting right.. probably i deserve it.. i find that we are behaving more like a friend then in a relationship... probably it's like that.. ya been spending my time at night to watch DEVIL BESIDE YOU (er mo zai ni sheng bian) wa that show totally rocks man!! best favourite taiwanese show ever.. acted by yang cheng ling and mike he i think... ya the devil.. he's super hot i tell you!!! more handsome than the yuan yi... yuan yi certain angle looks pretty okays.. but mostly not soo hot compared to jiang meng... haha...

well this is a love and comedy show... if u guys watch it before u will know how funny it can get... and ya definately how romantic it can get too... watch that 20 episode i think i cried like almost half of the episodes... it's super duper touching and romantic... i see how qi yue and jiang meng's love came about i really envy them esp qi yue fer being so strong.. she's like the nicest friend you'll ever find... and ya the most understanding girlfriend ever too... and jiang meng though he's always rude and all but he's gentle side really charms you... really love that show alot... how i wish i was qi yue lol!

she's like the most fortunate woman in the world... haha.. =) ya but oh well it's all in the movies... and it is always so perfect... that's why i often tell myself if only my love life is in the movie i'll gladly treasure it without hesitations man... oh crap! it's 2am.. alright i better go to bed now.. headeache is coming~~~ and tmr i have wireless test... CRAP Again dun have the mood to study and nothing is going in!! AHHH!! alright shall blog again!! nitey nite!

he finally replied

2009-05-29T22:22:00.002+08:00

finally i'm able to get him.... sigh.. we can't even talk on the phone because he's so busy.. but then again i'm still very depressed that he can't be able to contact me no matter how busy... called him 2 times he didn't even pick up my phone he said he wants to sleep... he's very tired.. he drop me a sms instead... saying that he's very tired no mood to chat with me... and he's sorry fer not being able to accompany me... he said that once he settle his army stuff he'll find time to accompany me... i hope he keep his word.. really.. i feel so stood up by him soo many times already.. i dunno this major one will it be the truth or still lies... really sad now.. again tears fall onto my cheeks.. alright shall stop here.. really sad... T.T but i still love him alot... really alot... sigh...

new life begins again...

2009-05-29T08:00:00.003+08:00

well i'm here to blog while waiting fer my darling mei ling to sms me when she reached khatib then i'll leave my house.. cried like hell yesterday... cried while watching 10 promises to my dog because it's super sad and ya i'm hurt too.. so my tears just keep falling non stop.. before i go to bed it's the same... it feels so hurt to be neglected and to be ignored... sigh... what can i say? life isn't perfect fer me... i'm not perfect fer anyone... not even one person... sigh... i really wonder why do i have such a sickening love life.. can't i have someone whom i can settle down with? i dunno... really dunno..

all my good friend who are guys are also expierencing the same thing too.. why do all the good people always get such sickening love life and all the bad ones get such good love life? it's so unfair... sigh.. life really is so unfair.. i dunno what is happening to this world man.. how i wish i could turn back time in the past and wouldn't do such silly stupid things.. i feel like killing myself!!!! AHH!!! irritating.. Arrrgghhhhh!!! alright i think i shall stop here.. dun wish to blog any further... i'm super late fer school.. sigh..

why?

2009-05-28T20:28:00.002+08:00

i really dunno what to do.. he didn't contact me since yesterday and today the whole entire day.. pro right? i NEVER had a bf who is like that before... i really dunno if he's hinting it to me or not.. i mean if he wants to break up just said it.. i dun wish to waste my time with someone who doesn't love me back and dun even treat me as his gf... i really dunno what i've done to deserve such things.... probably because my looks and size disgusted him... i dunno...

cried today again... this time not even darling mei ling know.. jacqueline too.. until i told them and shaun about what happen in my past then i said i cried just now.. was feeling really down... had terrible mood swings... went to the toilet suddenly felt so neglected and rejected.. decided to cry it out abit in the toilet... felt abit better after crying out... then supposed to go cell today but i didn't... was feeling rather down till my head aches.. then mum called when i was on my way to take bus 24...

i was pissed with her because when she asked me whether i got take the new motorola phone she asked me very rudely and it seems like i'm the one who took it fer no right reason... and in directly i feel that she is blamming me.. so i told her off by saying why are you blamming me? i didn't even take the phone... then she said did i blame u? i'm just asking u.. then i said then do u have to use such a tone to ask me? u make it seems like i took it...

then okays i hang up... the feeling totally sucks when you are sad and yet someone still scolds you for nothing.. the other time was my sister.. now my mum.. next my dad? i dunno.. i'm feeling soo sucky already.. then they still scold me... for wad? what have i done? do i deserve such scolding? yesterday regina called me... asking me how am i feeling.. she said she read my blog.. then i told her i'm alright.. then around 1 am plus she called me while i was sleeping..

then we talk abit.. she keep asking me to beware.. she said that if he loves you, he wouldn't treat u like that.. he would have make an effort to call u... there's no excuse fer him not to call you.. and yes i definately agree with her.. because i feel the same way too.. but i tried to understand him.. yes i know he's busy.. but why can't he just ''update'' me? i really dunno... i just keep wondering.. if he really doesn't like me.. why did he start this relationship? maybe because i deserve it for how i've treated my ex... haha!

ya retribution right? i wonder... i bet he's happily laughing at how my stupidility lead me to the wrong decision...anyways.. i've already said.. i blame no one except myself.. i CHOSE this path.. so it's me to DECIDE.. sometimes i even wonder why do i even have to be in this world.. what is my purpose of being into this world? i really dunno.. all along... guys dun treat me good especially those who i love whole heartedly.. probably i'm not fated to have a steady bf even though i want one... oh well..

and ya something weird happen yesterday too.. i called his mobile but he's prepaid is low.. so i can't contact him at all.. then i send him this sms saying that i'm very disappointed in him because he didn't even bother to make an effort to contact me..somehow or rather i dunno how.. he replied.. but! he said that he's in the camp now and won't be able to book out but he'll call me or rather talk to me when he's done.. i dunno what time he send out this sms... i thought okays i could forgive him in a way.. BUT! again.. say only.. never even call me...

not even a single call.. up till now.. can you imagine!!! so people do u think i'm important to him? i guess not right? it's very obvious... well i shall not make an official anouncement till i hear it from his own words... totally depressed about everything... i guess i'm fated not to be attached after all.. LIFE SUCKS!!!!!!!

sickening..

2009-05-26T00:29:00.002+08:00

seriously lor.. i dunno why he want to keep having my blog link lor.. for wad? then every night see me update and see how imperfect my life is making him happy is it??? want see see lor! dun regret lor... i oso can't be bothered to see ur blog because ur blog really pissed me off.. ya larhz i bitch larhz.. and for goodness sake it's not 2 years lor.. is almost 2 years then i pai pai pi gu leave u lor..

ya.. i leave you okays? i flirt i bitch so? what are going to do about it?? rant it at your blog and spreading the news to peole?? whatever larhz huh.. want to spread spread lor.. i can't be bothered anyway... for your information this is my life.. i have the right to choose which way i want... who knows i might even break up with him one day and find another one... WOW GOOD SHOW RIGHT? see lor...

i really cannot stand your attitude.. huh ya badminton see my true colour.. ya lor.. see lor.. i'm evil i'm terrible wad else do you want to fill in the blanks? fill fer all you want.. I SERIOUSLY DUN EVEN CARE! ya friend friend.. how can i ever be friends to someone who talks bad about me when i didn't even do certain things that he claim i did.. WAD A JOKE!

fancy him being so proud to say that I MS NG CHEATED ON HIM... HAHA! very funny and hilarious lor! yes people just laugh... i hate people who is so irritating already avoiding him still dun get the picture.. still want to do it in a forceful way.. okays lor.. do lor.. just stop being such a whinner and whine like a bitch... so irritating lor.. wa liao.. how old liao still whine and whine.. ya larhz to u 2 years ma... i nothing der.. can just put down everything one..

please let me remind u! IT'S MY LIFE YOU DUN RUN IT FOR ME NO ONE RUNS IT FER ME.. IT'S ME! understand simple english or not.. =.='' and yes please larhz.. want sms can sms earlier or not.. i'm not like u soo free in the middle of the night lor.. people got school have to wake up fucking early one lor.. then sms unnecessary shit and then wake me up.. wtf lor.. u no school no work ur problem larhz..

i got school one lor! ya larhz i now say i seriously hate you.. dun wan to see you because you pissed me off badly and seriously can't accept the fact what is happening now... and seriously thank god i've seen ur true colours because i dun wan such a person fer a boyfriend... sickening man... wasting my blog space to rant on such people... well whatever just dun push it to the limit... really.. dun push it.. i'm warning you..

hate irritating people who sticks to u like a pests! sickening post ever! aggrrrhhhh!!!!!!!! >:@

very sad...

2009-05-24T22:33:00.003+08:00

i'm soo freaking sad now... since yesterday... i called him he was as usual busy playing maple.. then he told me to call him when i get home.. okays i called him.. no answer.. no pick up... nvm... didn't even bother to sms me to tell me that he went to bed.. morning no sms on my phone either.. i had to call him to hear that from his own mouth...

today the same thing happen... tried calling him awhile ago.. no pick up.. bet he either purposely dun wanna pick up my phone or went to bed... i hate it when he does that.. making me feel like as if i'm waiting fer nothing.... why does he have to do that? what did i do wrong to deserve this? i thought this could be fine and all.. but it seems like he doesn't want this relationship... i really dunno what to do now..

crying doesn't seems to help though i am crying now.. no point.. who's going to lend me his shoulder to cry on? do i really deserve this?? why do i always have to get the bad guys and never the good ones? why is life so in perfect for me??? why? why? i dun understand.. am i not a good person??? am i a bad person? could anyone tell me why??

i really dunno what to do... sigh.. and just only i got said by my sister.. fancy asking me to help her get her shampoo and conditioner but instead of saying thank you.. she shout at me... for wad? i dun even know she has spares in the utility room... why is it i'm always getting all the negative things when i dun wan such negative things or thoughts to be with me?? i really dunno why... dun wish to blog any further.. it just hurts me even more...

another boring day...

2009-05-21T19:52:00.002+08:00

well well.. today nothing much.. but had fun during lessons.. why? because we DOTA and CSed man!! woot!! funny... goodness gracious everyday go lesson just to play.. =.='' how to learn! but it's so boring.. imagine 2 mono tone teacher talking... and 1 is talking crap u dun even understand a single thing he said! =.='' well today after school went to sim lim square with cai porky... i thought i couldn't start a conversation with her.. but end up it was pretty okays.. still can talk to her.. better than i expected lol.. hmm darling was pretty pissed at her because she sit at her place during lesson.. and all her are saved there.. haiz. i mean sometimes this cai porky really dunno how to zhi dong.. but then again i wonder is it her decision or not...

GUESS WHAT! i just got off the phone with jac and the girls this stupid guy name guang rong who is now jac's ex boyfriend broke up with her.. the reason is he dun even love her from the start.. =.='' what kind of crapper can he get... it's such a lame excuse lor.. i can't imagine how he throw the whole entire man face... =.='' and the thing is he's 23 this year... and yet he has a mentallity of a 14 year old.. =.='' oh my goodness! i really dunno why such thing could happen... sigh..

i really hope jac know how to sort out her thinking man.. i'm so afraid she would do something silly.. sigh.. really dunno what to say about this guy man... anyways i'm going to stop blogging already.. getting lazy.. so will blog again when i have the time... tata~

3rd date out with baobei!

2009-05-19T00:57:00.006+08:00

today it's like finally i can meet baobei!!! last whole week he so busy can't even spend time with him.. super duper miss him like anything... today was kinda fun.. except that this kuku bird of mine make me pissed.. then best he dun even know.. =.='' cute yet really wanted to smack him.. lols! why because he so last minute.. i tot i could spend time the whole day with him since it's been like 1 whole week i have nt seen him...

then he last minute tell me say he gotta go fer his family dinner.. =.='' didn't even tell me... then i already told mum that i'm having dinner out.. if he told me earlier not soo bad though will be sad but at least he notify me earlier... =.='' then i got angry... sort of walk away from him.. then he kuku one... never bother to come and apologise to me or wad.. just walk with me and meddle with his specs...

got even more pissed when he keep meddling with his specs.. imagine from suntec all the way to marina square.. and he didn't even know i was mad at him... =.='''' so nvm i didn't want to make matters worse i asked him what happen to ur specs... then he said to me in his normal talking tone ohh the thing drop.. then trying to unscrew it.. okays felt nice that he's using his normal tone to talk to me..so sweet and gentle... *drools* LOL! then i told him nvm we go find a place to sit... then i walk to the chair near kiddy palace somewhere there and sit...

then he started adjusting his specs.. when he's done he said okays! let's go see the movie timing.. i'm like thinking... "oh my goodness dun u even know i'm mad at you.. " then i said to him i dun want.. he asked me why i said i'm mad at u! u make me so angry lor.. then he still can ask me why.. =.='' i say i dun like people to make last minute decision blar blar and so on... then this part he so cute.. he apologise to me and por me and said sorry larhz u know i stupid one.. i wanted to laugh.. =x but then i said u dunno i angry with u meh i totally ignore u lor.. dun wan to talk to u..

and he still can say oh i making my specs ma.. then nv zhu yi dao ni.. PENG!=.='' that one best liao.. lol.. but ya then again he's easily distracted... -.- oh well baobei please next time observe me can~~ u kuku der.. keep see girl only dun care me der... hmmph! hahas.. =) but i know you love me.. and yes i love you too..my baobei is the cutest boy boy ever! i love him!! =) okay here's 3 pictures we took today.. didn't take much because i look super ugly lor.. gtg now tata!! =)

act cute der baobei!

kuku face... =.=''

yay us happy together!~

8 may 2009

2009-05-08T17:05:00.002+08:00

hello back to blog again.. it's so fast our 1 month being together... hahas! fast right? but still feels as if a few days with him... hmm... i really wonder if he really truly loves me or not... seriously i feel this is really like when i was in a relationship with my first ex... i dunno if he loves me or not.. i can't confirm if he can accepts me for who i am or not.. i know i'm fat... but does it really bothers them alot? i really wonder... though i told dear how i felt and everything he assured me that no matter what he still loves me and all..

called him just now told him i miss him alot.. then he went ''erm... lol'' then i told him ''ya i know u hear me saying this till you are so bored right?'' then he said '' no i didn't say anything'' then i told him ''well u hesitated...'' so ya.. kind of get the picture... then i said can u dun be so da mang ren... then he said if i dun be da mang ren how can i yang you in future? well there's a point there but still really want to see him... hmmm maybe i'm thinking too much... i dunno... i just feel so insecure at times.. like sometimes i feel that he's being shared by other girls.. LOL ya.. that's how far i think... but know that in a relationship such thoughts shouldn't occur.. but i guess it's because i love him too deeply that i'm being a bit possessive i guess.. well i shouldn't be doing that.. but i just feel that he should at least drop me a sms or call me if he has the time frequently least i know he's okays or wad he is doing and all.. rather than not contacting me and i'm always the one taking the initiative....

yes i know he's busy and I HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT... i know and i must! i feel very bad like always calling him when he's busy or always having such thoughts when he's not contacting me.. but it's hard to control to have such thoughts especially for someone like me who thinks so negatively in almost everything.. yesterday was the offical day i accepted christ.. said the sinner's prayer too... yes my spiritual baby is born... =) and i must learn how to stop all this negative thoughts and all... i hope dear dear will come to know the LORD again...

well here i am emoing as usual but somehow or rather my mind is assured that he's not cheating on me but my heart feels that way.. i dunno why.. oh man! it's soo tiring to always feel that way... i dun even know if i'm actually such a lousy girlfriend... i hope i'm not.. my thinking and rules of being somebody's girlfriend is to love him, pamper him, give him a sense of security and most importantly NOT TO CHEAT ON HIM.. yes that's my rule... i will definately keep this rule in my heart forever and ever till the day i'm in heaven.. =)

seriously i dun even know wad i'm bragging about now.. just feel like typing whatever i feel right now all here.. hoping that someone could listen and understand what i mean as i'm very bad at explaining myself and expressing too... sigh!! what i know now is I Miss My dEAR!!! ahhh!! lols... yes he is my baobei to the extend other girls stare at him i'll bite! lols.. =) alright then i shall stop bragging here already.. i guess i'm already boring people till they are yawning away.. shall blog again soon..

hate such people..

2009-05-04T10:03:00.005+08:00

i dun understand why people are so self centered... dun even know the meaning of certain things claim that they know and they do it.. =.='' in fact this people are nothing but big crappers... let me tell u this.. praying to god isn't about just saying or wad.. u have to commit urself into this.. u have to pray every single day... u claim that u prayed fer me and yet bad mouthing me like an idiot saying wad i'm crapping saying my life is sad blar blar.. come on larhz... u are not me.. how the freak do u know me?? nobody knows me accept ME MYSELF AND I! get the picture?

just because people say have faith in god dun put assumptions into ur own hands alright.. please get the bible and study it before u even harp about it.. it's soo bloody irritating fer u to comment that u pray and then u head to clubs and hug girls.. what kind of attitude is this? IF U DUNNO ANYTHING ABOUT GOD'S WORD PLEASE DO NOT SAY IT ALRIGHT! in fact this word GOD is very power please do not measure him as one of us.. he's the LORD who created us human... dun discriminate him please... u are such a terrible person.. thank god i broke up with u and then only i saw ur true colours.. u are worse than i ever imagine.. u said u moved on..

huh! since when? if u did u can't be bothered about saying how i would think and all.. i can't be bothered with u.. after this break up u've been heading to clubs and spending all ur money~ think about it would ya.. keep complaining u no money then give that LJ bin.. then still mai save go club.. go lor... drink till u broke lor.. i can't be bothered with you... you are so immature! to think u have the cheek to say me immature together with ur friends.. think about what u have done... if u say things are changing now i bet u are not even following GOD's will.. U ARE DOING UR OWN WILL AND THAT'S SINFUL ENOUGH! irritating pest!

last but not least... i also hate people who is in the wrong and yet pushes the blames to others.. you know who i'm talking about.. yes it's you... i shall not name it here.. i just want to tell u this.. after all we are still friends.. i really want peace between all of us but it seems like ur princess temper is too much... i had enough of ur attitude... i dun expect you to treat anyone like ur dog or maid alright! please think about what u have done.. doesn't mean being the chairman is soo great! u have ur own responsibilities to do.. and yes i'm the secretary but hello! i'm new alright u haven't even taught me anything.. dun expect me to be the person who-knows-it-all! i'm not!!

treating certain people like maid is already so evil of u.. how could you do that? yes i know she betrayed u.. but look at her other side u think she will do it on purpose? i know she isn't that kind of girl... please wake up and think right! doesn't mean u have depression u can use it to threaten us... could u please think right and grow up! does thinking negatively helps?? goodness gracious! i really dunno what to say about you already.. it's like u did something wrong u dun want to admit then push the blame to us..

if u dun like us to meddle in ur private affairs just tell us.. dun have to type in ur msn nick or facebook just say it right into our face... it's like we tried to help end up we are being called "kay pos" and busy body... fer ur information what happen between u and him we didn't open our big fat mouth to let someone u 2 are afraid of letting him know okays... he himself already knew wad's happening... he himself already knew lots of stuff.. after that we just share and talked about it... how could u blame us ur friends fer this?? i really dun get you.... could u please do something? it's really starting to pissed me off.. u are in the wrong u expect us to say sorry...

we are just acting how the way u treat us... SELFISHNESS! so please think about it alright! i'm not here lecturing you or what.. i just feel that words are easier to express myself rather than talking... and also please ask that guy to not scold my baobei "go and die"?? what gives him the right to do so??? he doesn't know wad is happening he come and evaesdrop my conversation between me and my friend... then he suddenly just commented something that pissed me off.. so ask him to keep his tongue to himself when he talk okays? i was super pissed when he said ''jiao ta qu si'' i mean really very very very very pissed off...

so please next time if we never ask u anything dun come and talk big or act big.. u went NS long time ago by then the system would have changed... u say till so easy then u do it and show it to us then.. since u know so much... please use ur head before you talk and not talk without using ur head to think first.. i appreciated it if u get wad i mean. =)

back to blog again..

2009-04-27T20:57:00.002+08:00

well well... it's been days or rather weeks that i hadn't been blogging? o.O haha~ ytd came back from cruise.. had fun there with my sister and my daddy.. but the trip wasn't as good without my mum.. because of her everywhere will be noisy and full of nags or whatever... mummy went to shanghai fer 1 week.. missed her like on the 2nd day already... cos no nagging blar blar etc... lol~~ yes we children will only know how important our parents is when they are dead and gone... we are all so terrible.. =.=''

anyways sis and i tried the new slide that was built on STAR VIRGO~~~ wa i was practically having fun because i was ''zooming'' all the way down.. and my sister was crawling down.. she said no fun... lol~! at first i thought it was the cause of my weight then my sis realise nah it's my swimming costume material.. then i was like ohhhh... lol!~ hahas... then we played sherads.. *dunno how to spell* the one that u see the word and u have to act it out.. ya.. we played with the cruise members.. soo funny.. then we learn basic steps of line dancing... sis and i keep getting confused.. but it was fun... =)

and yes we went to catch terry parade again.. he's a very good juggler... he performs in moulin rouge.. ya.. yes i mean moulin rouge in PARiS!!! omg!! haha... yea... was having fun and all.. enjoyed his performance.. he reminds me of mr bean~!! hahas... =) after checking out ytd.. about 5 plus miss ai ai mich took a cab down to my house... yes the taxi uncle is super noisy can... irritating... through the phone i can hear him nagging like nobody's business.. can't be bothered.. irritating sia..

so when we got off the cab i got pissed and i just slam the bloody door real hard... stupid bad service he had.. =.='' yap then went carefour.. yes i bought NEW PIERE CARDIN PANTIES!!! super comfy man!! shared it with dear dear he was like why are u telling me this.. i started laughing.. lol! okok... =x then ai ai bought bra.. goodness u know how huge the cup can get?? it doesn't even fill half of my boobs can.. wa liao! soo jealous!! i oso want.. but i scared too big centre of gravity even greater... LOL! =)

anyways yap we went ashtons to eat... i didn't knew suntec got lor... hmm i think this company is getting good... first i tried them at serangoon gardens and i fall in love with it and it's like at some hawker centre... didn't knew they already opening up branches.. thumbs up to the owner! =) congrats man! =) yap and then this stupid kai and tulcus come spoil my mood.. first i tickled tulcus but i see no reason why he should lay hand on me when i just tickle him.. i really hate such guys who is so violent towards girls.. no different from the brother kai lor.. snatch my phone he just pull my hair.. wth... =.='' really spoil my mood like hell...

i told kai like i'm sad larhz.. he's reaction was like sad fer wad! first they dun even know how awkward i feel facing them after the break up with someone... then he bombard me with questions like all my freaking fault... then suddenly have to see them face to face.. like wth! =.='' they dun even understand my feeling come and make me feel even more lousy.. sigh.. think next tym i shall not go out with them.. really feel soo awkward.. thank god owen was there to entertain me...

though i had nothing much to talk to him.. but we did stupid things and really Laugh out Loud lor! esp the MOTHER's DAY present when we meant to give it to ai ai lor.. funny!! i keep laughing so is he.. but then yea without the 3 guys i felt so much happier thanks to owen.. and yes thanks again fer accompanying me at the bus stop! =)

oh before i forget... mummy came back like santa clause! she bought lots of bags and wallet lor!! =) hahas... LV WALLET!! but they are immitations.. who cares!! it looks soo original can... the material and all.. freaking nice.. i love it... best of all the present she bought was NITENDO WII!!! wa i tell u it's like a major surprise larhz! didn't think of it much then she bought!! soo sweet of her.. thanks alot mummy... that's why i'm very proud to say that my parents are the best parents i can ever get.. though i get very whinnning about them at times.. .hahas! =) love my family alot...

oh ya not only that i dunno is it really true or not.. but mum seems to like jonathan alot... though haven't met him.. haven't even hear his voice lor.. =.='' when i was preparing to go out with ai ai she came to my room she said ehh carry new bag larhz... dun carry old one.. then she asked who are you going out with? i said with my one of my gal friends bday then she said ''chey'' i tot you go out with jonathan.. then nvm carry the old lol.. LOL! i was like diao... in my heart i was thinking must carry new bag to show dear dear meh?? haha.. funny lei she... =) sound so excited over everything.. like as if i'm marrying off or something.. lol! =) but then seeing her happy about

this situation i myself feel so happy..=) thank god fer everything... i appreciate it alot... =) alright i have blog enough shall go play my wii then watch my america's next top model! woot!! tata all!! 3 more days!! and i'm able to see dear dear!!!! love him!! muacks!!!

time is the truth...

2009-04-21T18:23:00.003+08:00

it's been exactly 2 weeks that i'm with my baobei... i'm seriously not regretting my decision in fact i feel so much happier... the past and all i want to forget... and i wish i can.. seeing him backstabbing me and stating that i backstab him.. it's all bull! here i am trying to get on with my life.. he keeps whining about it everyday like a bitch... i can't blame him.. but i have my reasons fer leaving him... if someone in directly threatens you, are you going to be so dumb to continue this relationship and suffer? it's already 2 mths and i felt that urge of breaking up... it's just that i didn't dare to say anything.. i make it seems like i still love him.. but i really suffered deep... who knows? no one knews about it... only me myself and i... i changed my blog link because i dun wish to see unwanted people coming to my blog and bark like a mad dog...

what's the use of barking when it's already happening? what's the use of complaining when it's already over? i myself asked fer this relationship... i jumped into it.. i blamed no one except myself if anything happens... i hate people who threaten me.. and fer that i have to think of my own future too.. if someone is so immature to think such nonsenses why should i continue my life with him? i treat him coldly because i want him to know that he has to think right and stop whining like anything... the day i went to get my hard disk i'm afraid to seek fer his help... called my friend to do the job but it seems like it's so difficult to convey both our messages to each another so i decided to talk to him on the phone..

i was very sure i talk to him with a very nice tone... end up what do i get? raising of voice and all.. asking him a simple question wad's the difference between SATA and IDE instead of telling me he wrote it so big on his blog and mock at me.. stating indirectly i'm so dumb that i don't even know such simple thing... what kind of fella is this? i told him coldly that you can go around telling people how bitchy i am and how i treat you... he said ''no i didn't tell them blar blar blar'' when i visited my blog WOAH! such a big surprise! people insulting me.. stating that i'm desperate fer sex or whatever... i can't believe he's such a BIG FAT LIAR! and to me i really hate people who lie to me! they are the worst living things ever! i seriously can't be bothered about him anymore... in fact after what he had mock me about the hard disk i've already decided not to even care about this fella anymore and it would be better if we weren't be friends...

how hypocrite can he gets.. telling me that he hated a girl so much that he don't even want to talk to her.. and keep telling me about her size and all and said he will never talk to her.. WOW another big surprise... i saw both their tag board so chatty and active... i'm surprised.. now i know his true colours and i'm definately not wrong to break up with him.. i'm so glad i made that choice... thank you god fer opening my eyes to see what kind of person he is... all i can say now is wish him good luck fer his future.. i wonder how he will survive being such a idiot...

life is happier fer me...

2009-04-14T20:21:00.002+08:00

well well.. life fer me has never been better.. =) enjoyed myself... like really alot.. =) went out with regina mummy and yk daddy... =) we went to marina barrage.. had so much fun man! =) was happy that people around me supported me for my decision.. i dun care wad others says about me or in fact insult me... i know wad i do is fer my own better life... thank god fer it.. school today was shag.. had cca fair.. end up i'm there sleeping lor... =) hahas! reginald was a big kns...! suppose to find me end up he come find me then nv tell me!! kns.. i want to disturb this junior of mine! =) alright i shall stop here now... shall continue blog in the other blog want the link do ask me personally.... hehehee.. =)

CONFESSION!

2009-04-12T14:26:00.002+08:00

alright i shall now officially tell every one and single of u YES I AM ATTACHED TO ANOTHER GUY! yes i'm a flirt a bitch or wadeva names u want to name it name it here i dun give a damn.. becos of this small little secret i've hurt my friend... since this is such a burden i rather shout it out here... everyone know much better i dun have to be hidding in my shell... okays since you've said i didn't apologise to u i hereby apologise to u..

I AM SORRY FOR BEING A BITCH... TOOK YOUR LOVE ONE AWAY FROM YOU.. THOUGH I KNOW HIM A WHILE I TOOK IT AWAY FROM YOU... I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING THAT BITCH AND BEING THAT MOTHER FUCKER PCB SLUT... I HONESTLY FELT DAMN GUILTY ABOUT IT.. I CRIED ABOUT IT... UP TILL NOW I STILL THINK ABOUT IT.. WHY I MISUNDERSTOOD IS BECAUSE U DUN WANT TO SHARE THINGS WITH ME..

DID U EVEN TREAT ME AS A FRIEND IN THE FIRST PLACE? IF I DIDN'T TREAT U AS A FRN I WON'T HAVE SHARE ALL THIS WITH YOU... AND U SAID THAT MY FRN SUAN U THEN I LAUGH.. OKAYS IT'S MY FAULT I SHLDN'T HAVE LUFF I'M SORRY.. REALLY I AM... I DUN INTEND TO HIDE ANY LONGER.. IN MY LIFE PEOPLE DO SCOLD ME AND BACKSTAB ME THOUGH I HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS... SO YA I ABSOLUTELY KNOWS HOW IT FEELS FER BEING STAB AT THE BACK.. AND REALLY I'M SORRY THAT I DIDN'T APOLOGISE AND ASK YOU TO FORGET ABOUT IT...

IT'S MY FAULT THAT IN CERTAIN THINGS I DUN TRUST YOU BECAUSE I'M ALSO VERY SCARED THIS SECRET WILL LEAK OUT.. BUT ANYWAYS IT'S ALREADY UP THERE.. OKAYS? I DUN BLAME U ANYMORE SO PLEASE STOP BLAMING URSELF FOR EVERYTHING.. IT'S MY FAULT... NG LI YAN'S FAULT.. EVERYTHING IS BE FALL ON ME... SO DUN EVER BLAME YOURSELF ALRIGHT....

my caps is meant for my friend so that's why i use the caps i'm not scolding i just want you to read and yes i'm apologising big so people will know how i've hurt you... seriously i dun understand why my life has to be like that.. nobody appreciate me.. not even in my family.. nobody sees my good side... everyone sees my bad side... yes i'm unhappy about myself.. i'm fat and ugly... i complaint alot.. i have very low esteem... i thought i could break out the news 1 mth or 2....

but i can't cos it seems like i'm hurting my friend and she couldn't take the pain at all and kept blaming herself fer it... so alright it's my fault fer doing so... i'll apologises to the whole world fer my mistakes and cause people to be hurt... what i can say is this is my first time being selfish fer myself.. i seriously think that by making this choice is a good one.. i nv regret... like i said people who dunno me they seriously dunno wad i'm thinking...

and yes again shall repeat.. i'm the most SLUTTY BITCH you can ever find... regret have me as friend right? just leave me then.. i dun mind.. because i know i've disappoint everybody.. those who know me... i dun blame u fer not having me as a friend it's okays... my past is like shit even now in present i can't even have that particular freedom i want... sigh... i really dunno why is my life full of obsticles..

i guess it's all god's plan.... i shall accept it...

alright since everyone knew my little secret please feel free to tag me that i'm a bitch or a slut... i'm alright with it.. =) and as fer my frn please stop having bad impression of her anymore because i'm the one who snatch her loved one.. it was i who did all the bad things that i hurt her... it is ME ME ME! alright since i've said everything from today onwards everyone as in everyone u all can choose ur choice to be my friend or not i really dun mind.. just drop me a tag and i know if still want to be my friend... thanks alot....

moving on....

2009-04-11T00:14:00.002+08:00

it's been 4 days since the break up... but i have been feeling much happier and enjoying myself this few days.. though i miss someone very much.. but ya... it will be 3 weeks then i can see that someone.. =) hahas!! secret! =) okok anyways went to the movie yesterday with miss ai ai to watch confession of a shopaholic... it's really hilarious i tell u... the girl she's soo innocent yet very straight forward and she sucks and dancing lor.... =.='' lol! anyways... i felt soo touched after watching... felt like crying.. reminded me of someone lor.. haiz... gonna miss that someone soo much... today is good friday which jesus died and then resurrected 3 days later which is easter sunday... okays easter eggs are soo cute.. =) soo nice lor had the cadbury chocolate egg.. yummy~~~ then went to meet ck for dinner... had fun talking to him and playing para para in time zone.. =) soo nice~~ shake my hands fats off.. =) haha but had lots of fun lor.. =) tmr i'm meeting him again.. hehe.. alright shall blog again soon~ tata!

it ended.

2009-04-08T21:25:00.003+08:00

after much thinking, crying and finally i'm here to say that yes i've already ended our relationship. it's nobody's fault but mine. i've choosen this path because of my future. i dun intend my friends to get all fine with me and put up a false front with me if they hated me for what i've done. i dun blame them because i know it's my fault it's my wrong. for this i've hurt people who likes me. i'm so sorry that it has to happen this way. like i said out there on the disclaimer. love is selfish and cruel. nobody is perfect.

i hope that everyone will be happy. i dun expect the ones i love to be really sad and depressed. if that's the case if my loved ones are sad and depressed i wish it was me who is going through that. i dun wish anyone to be sad. i'm sorry that i've disappoint you guys and i'm sorry for being a bitch to someone. that's all i have to say now.

TP PASSED!!!

2009-03-23T22:13:00.003+08:00

YAY YAY YAY YAY!!! i finally pass my TP!!! woot!!! yes i'm telling u i officially can drive now!!! wahaha!! thank god for answering my prayers!! =) really very happy that i manage to get my license!!! woot!!! can't wait to scan my ACTUAL license give u all see!! lols.. yes those no license one no need jealous soon it will be yours!! lols.. =) alright enuff of me boasting.. went ps with my sister... then guess who i saw??? KKS!!! yes that's right KUA KAI SEN and fyon jie jie!! and the lamest question he could ask was.. UR REAL LIFE SISTER AR? lol!! my sister was like LOL of course larhz i not dead lor... hahas! ya then we walk around and went home.. oh ya caught race to witch mountain with my sister.. yes it's her treat man.. double happiness.. hahas! it was nice and hillarious.. shld catch it... =) hahaha~! alright i shall blog again another time see ya soon!!!

yooo hoo!!!

2009-03-21T23:28:00.002+08:00

lol readers dun have to worry i won't do silly things.. it's the way i want to express everything out here in my blog.. yes i know it's scary that i might do stupid things.. but no worries if i did that i would have done it long time ago.. =) today i went to sentosa.. had fun man!! alright short summary... i've taken the SKY RIDE AND LUGE RIDE!!! wa i tell u super fun man!!! =) u all should go and try it man!! =) alright i'm soo lazy to blog.. will be dota-ing soon... soo will blog again when i'm seriously into the mood of blog okays!!!! =) alright tata!!!

why does this has to happen?

2009-03-16T00:40:00.002+08:00

seriously i dunno wad's going on right now... try to talk it out but it doesn't work.. whatever i do it always seem to be my fault... i want to settle things fast but it seems like is i'm talking to the wall... i dunno wad to do... it always seems to be my fault.. sigh... i really feel like giving up... when he said he wants to jump down i told him i want to take a knife to cut my wrist.. he ask me whether i dare or not... i was so tempted to walk to the kitchen and took out the knife and slit my wrist... but then he said okays this is not funny.. then again we didn't talk... i really dunno what to do... feel like killing myself... AHH!!! sigh.......

Things have changed.

2009-03-14T01:15:00.002+08:00

yes hello! i'm back to blog again.. alright so sorry guys... was busy with exams and all... and busy dota-ing... hahas... well exams is CRAP! i tell u C.R.A.P!! whatever we die die memorise didn't come out at all! hw shit can that be??!!! sigh... alright it's already over.. dun wish to think about it.. now i'm worry fer the results... i hope i can get into multimedia technology... as i really really want to learn html code very badly.. hehe... =) seriously this post is going to be a emo one....

you know how is it feels to be ''pang seh'' in like one whole day... and then when someone said to play games with u end up u waited 1 whole day and then last minute when you ASKED them they tell you oh sorry ps tmr then we play.. it's like damn fckin wad larhz... make ppl wait then wait till they ask then say if i dun ask i think i'll be like a kuku still waiting... nvm... even HE oso change... i dunno why...

after the "B.U" incident he suddenly change so much... i dunno wad to say.. but i know i can feel that we ain't as close as before... suddenly he gets all pek chek and then answer me in a very pek chek way... when i try to ''sa jiao'' with him he used to be okays.. but now it's like totally heck care or just answer me in a very pek check tone... i really dunno wad i have done to let ppl treat me like this... i'm really am sad... it's like get pang seh can be to that extend... all at one go pang seh u in 1 day...

i hate this feeling it's freaking fucked up feeling... i really dunno wad to do... is he hinting me something or not?? i really dunno... really feel like crying now... even my own bf can pang seh... i feel damn hopeless sometimes... sigh... yes he still talk to me still dote on me.. but when i feel sad or something he doesn't knw it... in fact it's like he's friends are more important... i haven't met him fer a week and i'm alrdy missing him like hell.. but he still continues going out with his friends... i know he wants to job hunt...

but please put urself in my shoes... i had no time to pei you during exams time... hadn't met u fer quite a long time to me... and then when i'm on holiday it's like u can't be bothered like that... really hurts alot... i feel like being single is no difference... i dunno... what should i do?? why just becos that that ''B.U'' you change so much?? why are u so negative with everything?? how are we suppose to have a future together if u have so much negative thoughts?? i really dunno wad he's thinking... i just dun feel good at all... i hate this i really do...

in fact he take that ''B.U'' as really break up before... then say till is i want to patch back... alright since if you think it that way then it's me my fault i patch back without thinking okay? then why am i still feeling a gap between us?? i really dunno... sigh.... can u imagine we even argued cos of dota... last time we won't do such things... but becos of... anyways i dun wish to talk about it anymore.. this is all what i want to say... i just want to let it out...

omg!

2009-02-24T00:44:00.001+08:00

yes omg!! exams are coming way sooon!!! and here i am still dota-ing!! shucks!! i've gotta stop myself.. i seriously have no mood to study man!! i want HOLIDAYS!!! MORE AND MORE HOLIDAYS!!!! where is my study mood that i can get it?? omfg!!! i seriously dunno wad to do man!! crap larhz there's like DPA test tmr.. and i'm still blogging.. force myself to study like fcking half an hour??? or less... it's soo shitty!!! omg omg omg!!! now feel like vomitting i duno why... it's really damn uncomfortable... sigh... i'm soo afraid i'll fail final exams... oh crap me!!! =.='' alright i think i've gotta go to sleep now.. just here to rant out... =.='' tata!

happy chinese new year everyone!

2009-01-27T22:51:00.003+08:00

hellloooooooooooo!!!!! here i am wishing everyone a very happy propsperous new year!!! =) 恭喜发财! may this year 2009 be a better year for everyone and a better one for me... hahas... =) this year cny was pretty okays.. just that a little tiring lols.. duno why... i think it's because time is flying as the new year are approaching... really feeling very shag and hectic sometimes... tmr baby boy is coming back!! oh god i'm really missing him like crazy!!

freaking miss him alot.. it's only 3 days but i feel like i haven't speak to him fer years... really miss him alot!! soo gonna hug him tight when he's back.. hahas~~~ feeling damn emo~~ dunno why guess i didnt' get to talk to baby boy on the phone this few days plus my TP sigh... still broading over it... well just can't wait to pass my TP.. i hope i can pass the second time.. i dun wish to waste my dad's money... talking about that i wanna save $$ to buy a PSP!!

oh man... having enuff $$ fer the psp from my hong pao money seems so tempting but yet i tell myself i can't spend that amount of money just like that... it is really very heart pain to see 300 bucks fly off lol! like no money to go shopping and all.. hahas~~ oh well... i'm soo bloddy bored!!! tmr i have school like at 8am!! and bloody hell it's new year!!!

why can't the government let us enjoy that whole of 15 days of cny~ give us a break!! hated school not because of the subject is because of the lecture! if i were to have a nice lecture i'll bet i won't be that reluctant to go to school though the travelling distance is far... sigh... why am i always meeting such people.. hate it so much~ if only this teacher could do something about her personallity i'm sure everyone would see her in a different angle... really hate her like fuck~~ sigh.... i just wish baby boy can come back soon... really miss him like hell... alright i'm going to bed now.. tata... =)

freaking depressed about my TP!

2009-01-22T23:14:00.002+08:00

sigh freaking depressed that i failed my TP... stupid taxi cost me 8 pts... but mostly i had wide turnings too.. sigh... i mean failing because of my own mistake i dun mind but failing because the taxi's fault i'm really not satisfied... i was so unlucky to have one of the fiercest tester... regina got him too.. she hated him.. so did i... talk soo loud and impatient... i got scared 2 times by him.. sigh... alright here's my results dun be too disappointed... depressed~

omg TP is tmr!!!

2009-01-20T22:16:00.003+08:00

oh man!!! it's already tuesday today!!! and tmr it's like my TP!!! omg!!!!! i'm really soo damn nervous like hell!!! scared like hell!!! omg omg omg.. but i have to keep on psycho-ing myself to be positive... tell myself not to be nervous and all.. okays liyan pls cool down!!!! *ahem* hahas.. yap... yesterday was dearie jie jie's birthday!!! happy birthday again!! lols...

had a wonderful fulfilling dinner man!! ate at sushi tei at serangoon gardens! wow ambience there is soo cute larhz!! typical japanese way of eating and all~~ hehe... yap then nic kor kor bought jie jie a chocolate cake with cherry and some rum from awfully chocolate! wow chocolate fudege is sooo yummy!! but too thick~~ =.='' i prefered the banana one... hehe.. =)

then went home and guess what before i came out of nic kor kor's car i dunno how or wad i did... my baby toe just knock against the metal part of the chair!! wa it's sooo freaking pain!!! till my baby toe went soo numb and i had to ''bai kar'' larhz... wa liao!! went home to spot check then squeeze a bit *spish* blood ozing out from the nails inside... =.='' soo freaking pain and when i like press the meat down wa i tell u damn high lor! freaking pain till cannot pain alrdy... then now have phobia people walking next to me.. damn scared they anytime just step my leg...

i tell u i sure cry like fuck... lol! hahas sian stupid goat say want do his module thingy and can't play hero seige... sigh... i think i'm going to ask baby to play with me something else then.. if not i'll have to sleep very late...alright i'll stop here now! wish me luck okays people! hope to hear from me the good news!!! tata!!

here's the neo print i took with baby boy!~ =) hehe.. dun jealous ar ~~ lol lol!! oh ya another thing tmr i'm going to stay over at mummy jac's place... so won't be online then.. alright tata!!

back from MIA-ing... lol!

2009-01-17T23:06:00.002+08:00

yes i know it's been donkey weeks since i've last blogged.. well i'm super duper damn damn damn damn damn damn happy today... guess what? my mum asked me to go with them to cruise on feb 13-15 as my sister will be at belgium to visit linus kor kor.. but somehow or rather i refused to go because dun feel like going... hahas.. then dad came persuading me.. and as usual u know my mum so worry cos i'm home alone.. lol.. then i told her ai ya alone at home can one wad... i so big already alone at home isn't a very big problem lor... but then again mummy insisted on me going because no one at home and i'm home alone...

then she came to my room and ask again i refused again.. then daddy came running to my room and said if i call junwei go you want to go or not? then i said nvm larhz you two want to go, go lor.. i alone at home can one wad.. then he said no really i bring junwei... you go call him now ask him want to go or not.. then i look at him... he said look at me fer wad? i say you serious ar? then he say ya larhz then? wa i tell you ar now a days parents are really unpredictable... one minute their saying oh your bf ar so this and that.. blar blar blar nag and nag..

say wad in future no money how blar blar blar... and continue nagging then make it till they super dislike your bf.. next minute they say oh your bf can stay overnight or come we go cruise bring your bf over... lols! imagine how unpredictable they are???!! omg... so sometimes dun judge your parents in a negative manner they somehow will think of their kids too you know... hahas.. but i seriously can't thank mummy and daddy enough fer just bringing baby boy along!! omg!!! hahas.. still can't believe it... i feel like it's all a dream!!

yea and nadiah told me to ''believe the unbelievables" hahas!! yea true i should.. lol.. when mum first told me tht baby boy could stay overnight fer christmas... i was shocked too.. i didn't think so much lol! hahas... then the one that's way beyond my thinking was come i bring him go cruise!! WAH!!! i tell you it's like heaven when you hear this man!! lols!!! really damn happy! i'm soo gonna take lots of pictures with baby boy and upload it here.... hahas!

yes i know some will think chey like that only but to me my parents are the super strict kind.. ya so this is really a very nice surprise i ever had... hehe.. thanks again mummy and daddy!! love ya the best and always will love ya guys!!! too bad jie jie and nic kor kor can't come.. but they are happily enjoying themselves also larhz.. they go belgium lor!!! wa soo envy.. hahas.. but i'm already happy about the cruise thingy... =) hahas!!

oh ya another thing if you guys saw my msn nick i stated that my TP is on 21.01.2009 omg! i'm soo worried that i will fail... even talking about this now my hands are all sweaty... really nervous like hell man!!! omg it's like 4 more days!!! omg!!! *my eyes just open damn big when i looked at the calender* okays my hands are sweating even more.... omg so many people are putting high hopes on me! i can't disappoint them!!! i will do it! plus dad and mum's surprise for me i'll do it and pass!!!! yay!!!! alright hope i have the good news okays!! well wait fer my next blog alright!!!

shall go and eat my desserts now!! tata!!! thank god fer everything!!! =)

bye bye 2008, hello 2009!

2009-01-07T21:31:00.002+08:00

well it's so long since i've last blog.. hahas... =) it's so fast 2009!!! omg how time pass! it feels like yesterday is my bday and here i am already 19 years old going 20 this year!! omg i'm so getting old!!! ahhh!!! hahas... all the past is gone and all i can see now is my future... feel very scared of it though.. but sooner or later i have to face it...

here i am blogging this and missing baby boy like hell.. feels like years i've never seen him.. hahas... really miss him.. today was practically funny... poor darling mei ling sprain her ankle.. why? cos play games lor... play never see where she going miss her steps ''brah boom'' she fall down... =.='' yes can tell it's very painful... but at least i made her laugh... hahas...

somehow it feels very nice to help someone... esp the ones u care fer and loved the most... seeing her little brothers so close to her reminds me that i have such a wonderful family... having such a wonderful parents and sister... really love them alot... hahas.. alright shall not get any more mushy about all this and then cry... lol!

oh ya MY TP IS COMING!!!! omg!!! i'm so worried!!! i hope i can pass... really want to pass badly... due to some personal reasons.. hahas~ lol.. but also i really hope i can pass and have the chance to drive my family around... hahas... alright guys i hope you can pray fer me that on 21.01.2009 wednesday at 4.30pm my TP will go smoothly and have me passing it eventually.. hahas...

hopefully i will not be nervous fer that day if not i really dunno how... oh no!!! alright calm down liyan!!! =.='' well i will try my very best not to have any careless mistakes... =) hv to show the fierce looking instructors... hope i get the easiest test route and not a so fierce looking instructor.. =) alright i shall stop blogging now i'm soo smelly came home long ago and haven't bathe yet... =.=''

alright shall go and take a nice long shower and enjoy my date out with baby tmr... here are the people i want to wish happy birthday to...

firstly is my dearest sister ''Jie Jie''

hey jie jie!! if u happen to see my blog just wanna wish you all the best fer your birthday... may you have the happiest time fer this year and the years ahead... thanks fer really being a good sister to me.. though u love to bully me but i know you are the one who dote on me the most... hahas... really love you and glad to have a cute sister like ya! love ya forever!!! mwahh!!!

Secondly is my friend ''Michy Da Jie''

hey michy da jie!!! hahas... it's been 2 years and i'm still calling you that! lol!! alright just here to ''blacklist'' ur name on my blog to wish you a happy 21st birthday!!! may you have the best in your life... stay happy and cheerful always ya!! that is the best thing that i'm sure everyone loves about... your smiles are the best so be happy always okays!! miss ya!!!

Thirdly is my secondary school friend "Boo Teck aka GOAT!''

hahas!! GOAT!!! old liao hor!!! anyways wishing you a happy 20th birthday!!! very soon i need to give u a big present already... hahas!! well i wish u all the best in ur studies and ur future endeavour.... you are the greatest crappy friend i ever had! hahas... alright shall not suan you anymore... haha happy birthday!!

ps: please do not lay your eyes permanently on viona can... very hard to attract your attention lor! hahas... =) thank you!

i'm here to ......

2008-12-24T02:23:00.005+08:00

yes everyone i'm here to wish you guys MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! may you guys have the best christmas ever!!! MAY GOD BLESS YOU!!!

celebrate darling mei ling's bday!~~

2008-12-20T02:07:00.005+08:00

i'm back~~~~~ miss me?? lols... well here to blog about yesterday... ytd was the day we went to celebrate darling mei ling's bday earlier as mummy jac is having a good time of life going msia and all... lol.. leaving us in sg~~~ sob... anyways... yesterday was hell lots of fun... we went to eat at suki sushi (i think) and went to sing k~~ woots!! my favourite!! lol baby dun jealous ar... hehe... practi cally i was the clown there making everyone laugh till stomach pain as usual... and faking darling~~ it was so funny.... lol...

mummy jac, ah ma cai pok and me decided to buy darling mei ling a jigsaw puzzle which has dolphin on it because her present is like so rare in singapore.... wa liao... want to find anything related to dolphin i tell u can die ar... =.='' so the only place i knew and confirm have dolphin is at jigsaw puzzle world~~~~~ ( i think that's the company name... lol... =.='') yay all hale the jigsaw puzzle world... *me bows* lol.. okays *i'm so gonna change my ''okaez'' to "okays" <- looks nicer dun u agree? lol* *ahem ahem* alright back to my story... so the three of us met up one day which is on the 12 dec 2008 ("12.12.08" nice number can buy 4D) to buy her adorable present...

so we sat at kfc there to fix her puzzle... was kinda difficult cos of the colour and everything i think mummy jac and i took 1 hr like that.. and ah ma cai pok busy eating her chicken... =.='' but end up she also got do a bit larhz... lol.. then mummy jac came out an idea of sticking the paper that was originally in the frame to cover the puzzle to not let darling know that it's the real thing... so i suggested we put it back to the original place as it looks more like we bought her a photo frame...

so yesterday we tried to hide the cake and the present... okays the present can be stuffed into my bag but end up becoming a recycled wrapper =.='' *all my efforts of making the sweetest wrapping gone T.T* but for the cake we couldn't hide too big.. so i told mummy jac never mind let her see... just bluff her we got her cake only no $$ to get her present... she said okays.. so i did all the talking and acted really serious but this mummy jac keep smile smile... =.='' kuku she... lol...

then we went to kbox to sing... decide to cut the cake there... *easier then got plate =)* then i started all my nonsenses like asking darling whether she wants to see magic or not... lol... ya i know it's lame i'm such a poor magician lol.. but i'm a good LIAR okays... hahas... oops =x my secret is reveal!~~ hahas but i'm sure my trust worthy friends will know whether i'm lying or not... he he!! *evil grins* ya so i asked her darling you want to see magic? she said wad thing? i say you close your eyes... then i took the left over UN- USED wet tissue *i'm hygienic okays =)* and put it into the zara paper bag that i use to put her present...

then when she open her eyes she thought it was a present then when she open she saw the tissue and she went ''ku ku larhz you.. then laugh and laugh'' then i ask her said okays okays i dun play with you this is your present... then she very happy... this is the funny part... when she open she saw the dolphin jigsaw puzzle box got very excited... then i told her oh that box nothing one... that one give u put thing... then we started saying that we took it from the recycle bin nice right... then she dun believe she open up the box to see.. then she say huh really ar... then we said ya... lol.. then i told her "there the photo frame is your present... see we so good buy this for you so that you can put you and your hong meng (her boyfriend) picture" WA i tell you i wanted

to laugh lor... see her face the expression is like from happy to ''zhi tao sian 1/2 lor" damn funny... then i said to her again "you want to see another magic or not?? you want you close your eyes dun wan dun close..." then she was like "what thing?" i say " want or not?" then she closed okaez this time i took out the paper... then when she open her eyes wa she like small kid ''screams and laugh laugh and said same thing kuku larhz you all.. chey like that only.... " then i told mummy jac ohhh ''yuan lai darling ye shi bu cong ming der... " then we keep laughing... then i said ya chey like that only and you kena fake by me... lol... then she pai seh...

then i started saying eee yer the present i wrap fer you all crumpled already... i very xing tong.. then she say never mind larhz... i say i wrap one lei~~ then she say "HUH is it? or u ask people wrap der?'' kns she... dun believe me... lol.. then she still can say '' i thought u really went to zara to buy me the gift from there because the wrapping look very exclusive like you got those people there to wrap it up for you... i feel so heart pain... lol.. hahas... but really i wrap that present for her... lol.. but i was happy that she praised my wrapping is good because so far none of my friends did i think.. hahas... thanks anyways darling...

so that's the funny part about her.. dunno funny or not larhz... hope you guys dun get bored after this long composition of mine... oh ya then at 4plus ah ma cai pok and me went to get the cake prepared... then 3 nice staff help us to light the candle all this... so in return we cut 4 pieces of cake for them to eat... so i help darling to hold one cake... then i told her that oh there's 2 guys and 1 girl who help us... so she said okays... as we were about to go out guy number 1 was outside our room so we gave guy number 1 first... then we went to the counter there and look fer guy number 2 and the girl.. but the girl wasn't there.. then this stupid receptionst... the most ''BU YAO LIAN SI ZHAR BOR'' like damn greedy sia...

darling didn't really hear me she thought was 2 girls and 1 guy... so we wanted to look fer the girl but she dissappear just as we were about to ask where that girl went too that receptionst lift up her hand and said ''oh xie xie" fuck sia!! we didn't even like offer her can... still can say '' oh happy birthday ar..." NB... si zhar bor... damn bu yao lian right?? i thought she was kind enough to ask oh who are you looking for or something... kns... then haven't give the cake her hand was out and saying thank you... =.='' sickening woman... then the girl came out so we gave it to her and went back to the room... after everything i heard from darling that that si zhar bor instead of returning my member card to mummy jac she threw it back to her... i was like wtf.. if i know i should have just take the cake away...

i mean if she does that bu yao lian action we oso pai seh just give it to her lor... oh ya so in the end that guy number 2 still got our cake we cut it for him... hahas... =) ya then after kbox mummy jac and ah ma cai pok left the scene immediately... =.='' why? cos mummy jac got curfew to be home before 8pm... so darling and i did a bit of shopping because i got to get my girlfriend nadiah her bday present which i owe her.. lol.. and my sister's xmas present... hahas... ya.. hope both of them like it... ya so that's probably what we did yesterday....

oh ya i'll upload the neo-print we took.. hahas.. it's cute larhz.. to me... like it alot... and sorry girls you guys have to get it from my blog cos friendster photos is not working... dun ask me why i dunno why... alright shall stop here.. poor baby waiting fer me to play GunZ with me... woot!!! miss that game so much... super love that game... alright shall blog again~~!!! thanks for reading my blog... hahas i guess today i wrote the longest... tata!!

my girlfriends and i~ =)

finally i'm here to blog again!!~~

2008-12-15T02:11:00.006+08:00

well well did you guys miss my blogging??? some of my friends already telling me eh miss ur blog is rotting already... lol~~ yes i know it's been a very long time since i've blog lol... lazy larhz... =) alright where shld i start?? lols... hmm alright shall start with my birthday that week... on my birthday it okay okays.... but can't say enjoyable lor... hahas... but i had wonderful MANGO CHEESECAKE fer my cake... wahaha... mummy bought it fer me..

oh ya and something cute about this year's birthday... i cut the cake 3 times... lols... first was my dear friend kvin bought the fruit cake fer me... second was dearest mummy bought my favourite cake... and third was a heart attack one... my 3 girlfriends are the biggest KNS man.... give me a surprise.. and my darling baby boy was their accomplice... =.='' ya best part they could deceive me very well... lol.. but not very well cos mostly i was blur and sleepy on that day... didn't expect anything much... lol.. so ya i had that surprise... and my 3 darling girlfriends bought me cookies and cream cake... wow!! yummy right?? but i still love the MANGO CHEESECAKE THE BEST!! sorry guys!! =) mummy's love... hahas... had really nice presents from them...

dad and mum gave me ang paos... sis brought me shopping and i bought a nice red tube top.... love it... my 3 girlfriends bought me a very nice WINNIE THE POOH BLANKET!!! awww so sweet of them to keep me warm... but sad thing is i'm ALLERGIC TO IT!!! zzzzz agrhhhh!!! oh well but i'll use it somehow... fer baby he didn't get me anything yet.... he said he willl owe me... lol.. so ya i guess christmas he'll give a 2 in 1!! woot!!! hahas... can't wait... mich gave me a precious moment umbrella... lol.. but sad the other i've to pay fer it... booo!! lol.. no larhz.. kidding thanks alot you guys... oh ya and i still owe my best girlfriend nadiah her present... lols... oh man.. this month i have to spend so much larhz...

christmas present and birthday present... omg... really so broke... =.='' lucky from monday onwards i am helping mummy do the spring cleaning for chinese new year... so can save $$!!! hahas... yes i know it's early cos mummy has good life... going genting then cruise... she doesn't have the time... plus i'm the messy one... hahas.. yap so need to clear up all my rubbish... hahas~~~ i didn't go to school fer the last day... felt guilty.. but at the same time didn't really bother because i didn't want to go to pu bor lesson... freaking boring and will spoil my mood to see her hideous face... =.='' oh well i shall prepare fer the worst when school re opens.... sigh~~ when can i change this stupid teacher... boring~~~

poor baby boy ran down with a high fever... worried fer him... but didn't want to go over to his place because i know if i go i will disturb him and he can't have a proper rest... i know i'm a bad girlfriend...=p i miss him so much!! hope to see him soon... yesterday i went to janice jie jie house to play her nitendo wii... hahas.. funny man!! really good exercise fer the hands... sure shake off fats... cos swing the remote till hand pain... lol! hahas... but funny... =) oh and another thing I AM SO IN LOVE WITH INUYASHA AGAIN!! OMG!!!! HE'S SO HOT LARHZ!!!! HAHAHS.... oh ya and baby got jealous cos i said he was hot... hoho!! lol... dun care baby... been drooling whenever i see inuyasha... hahas... oh ya guys if u are free and a anime lover please watch inuyasha and you will never regret! hahas... =) alright i think i shall stop here wanna continue my inuyasha and i have to sleep early... if not i can't wake up tmr [later] lol... =) toodles!! =)

here are some photos link to wadeva i've said... lol... =) oh and i realise that i didn't take any photo of my cake... think i'm too hungry... =) hahas... oh ya and guys hope this time u all can read better... sorry about the few previous compo post... hahas... =) enjoy~!

the winnie the pooh blanket that darling mei ling , mummy jac and ah ma cai pok got me... =D

this is the HOTTIE INUYASHA!!!! woot!! handsome right i know!!! *drooling*

this is inuyasha's brother sesshoumaru!! he's also a HOTTIE!!! *drools*

inuyasha and kagome~ the lovers~~~ so envy them... awww....

sad =(

2008-11-27T22:19:00.002+08:00

pretty sad and disappointed that most of my friends whom i've invited fer the so called ''picnic dinner'' all couldn't come.. i guess it was really too last minute and most probably dun like it either... well it's stupid actually to organise this.. but i thought most of us are budget so i didn't want them spend so much... but anyways i think maybe might end up only like baby said he and me only... so ya think that's wad i'm going to have fer this yr's bday... =) shldn't have organise from the start... just leave it... oh well... alright that's all i've gotta say... tata~

ta da~~

2008-11-24T23:59:00.004+08:00

surprised that i'm here to blog again?? hahas.. guess not... just being lame... lol seriously after visiting hippo's blog i realise the ENGLISH VERSION of YOU MAKE ME WANNA sang beautifully by my 4 hunks darling of mine BLUE sounds so much better can~~~ nah here is the english version enjoy ya~~~ oh ya and i realise something the more i look at the plaster it looks more like a miniature kotex... =.='' just that it's not red... ^.^ hahas... alright gonan watch my show~~ tata!!

lalala!!

2008-11-23T23:52:00.004+08:00

well finally i'm here to blog again!~ hahas... too lazy to do anything lor!! hahas... alright since i'm so bored i'm jsut going to post my disgusting blister here to show you guys... wahahas!! ohoh and thanks to dearest valerie!! she dyed my hair for me!! woot!! it's so nice the colour!! shall take a photo next tym and show it to you guys... hahas... well baby and i are going to play c&c now... he promised me lol.. hahas... alright shall blog soon.. oh ya and baby's bday is not for 2 days!! hahas!! happy birthday baby in advanced!! love ya!!!! mwahh!!!

here are the disgusting photos!~ =) enjoy!! lol!!!

see that ''circle" part that's the pus... =.=''

and yap that's the wound thanks to my new beloved shoes... =(

well this is just a random pic of mummy jac's puppy! he's name is roonie and he's a shih zul lol dunno how to spell well he's a cutie pie! so sad mummy dun allow me to take care of him fer a week! sigh... well so gonna hug him hahas... cutie!

just me myself and i

Bored.

helllooo~~~

A really long time.

back from MIA=ing!

long time...

never felt so pain.

so much hates.

sigh...

R.I.P mr blue.....

LIFE SUCKS!

totally in love with this phone... =D

seriously fucked up!

happy happy...

it's decided.

felt much better...

it's over.

back from genting trip!

weee~~~~ *glims*

CHRISTMAS 2009!

Misunderstanding As Always.

everything is done!

It's been a while since i last saw that smile on ur face.

totally love this song...

sunshine after the rain...

i'm such a disappointment....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Fucked up Life ever!

dead and gone...

a knife was stab into my heart.

totally shagged...

damn shag like hell!!!

the meaning of the song 默默 sang by 飛輪海...

shag shag shag!!

my head hurts!

finally back to blog!

exhausted!

tired tired!!!

unexplainable feelings.

shopping at bugis!

it's so annoying!!

wad a day!

no one ever understands me.

tired tired...

WORST PERSON I EVER MET WHO INSULTED ME!

finally PC SHOW is over!

exams finally over!

happy birthday ong wu gui!!! =)

super stress and having very bad sinus.

no more good friends.

back to blog again!!

finally i'm not lazy to blog! =)

it's just 1 more hour and it's thursday.....

papa nothing must happen to you!

a theif with no brains!

i'm sick... =(

school reopened...

first time making sushi!!!

happiest day ever!!

trip to msia!

what should i do?

THE WORST FRIENDS EVER! BLOODY BETRAYERS!

nothing better to do...

first time riding a motorcycle~~

PC show finally over!!

PC SHOW!!!

sighh...

what should i do??

it's so over...

more and more emo...

he finally replied

new life begins again...

why?

sickening..

very sad...

another boring day...

3rd date out with baobei!

8 may 2009

hate such people..

back to blog again..

weee~~~~ glims