hello!! it's been donkey months since i've last blog like again. Well first of all I want to state here is. WTF is wrong with this girl call ROSALYN PEH! this random girl msg me in fb telling me that my ex jw still love me and then I was the one who is the caused of their r/s??!!! wtf is she talking about?? like hello?? this guy JW is nothing to me already. He is the past of my life. HISTORY!!! get it?? I dun care whether he likes me or not. That's his problem. I've already moved on SO SHOULD HE! What is her problem man!! seriously. Crazy bitch. Thank goodness I have my girllfriends in class to cheer me up man. Esp hui ying and azura. Funny ladies.. =D but anyways I just want to blog this here big and clear. WHETHER YOU GUYS OUT THERE LIKE IT OR NOT. I HAVE NO MORE THINGS RELATED TO THIS GUY YANG JUNWEI ALRIGHT! I NEVER EVER REGRET MY DECISION. NEVER EVER. I'M VERY HAPPY WITH MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. SO DON'T COME AND FIND ME ANY TROUBLE FOR NOTHING. GO ON AND LIVE WITH YOUR MISERABLE LIFE!!! MOVE ON MAN!! WA PIANG HOW OLD ALREADY STILL ACT LIKE SMALL KID. NB.. REALLY MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SLAPPING YOU SIA!! Enough of my rantings I'm so sick and tired of this person like TTM! I dun even feel like talking about you anymore. Fuck off from my life!

well just finish a game of dota. So sad keep losing can't win. Esp the last game I shouldn't have used sniper... -.-'' Any hoo i saw the news on stomp. Was shocked to see that there is another case of slashing teens again. That's crazy man. I wonder if this is a trend for teens to bring parangs around and keep slashing people. All this people really have nothing better to do. I can't imagine if I were to encounter such things. I would be petrified and dun even know what to do. But CHOY! I dun wish to see such things in front of me.

Today is maths day. Totally hate it. Starting it was so confusing. Then after faci's help I manage to understand today's problem. It was kinda easy when I know how to do. Haha~ Tmr I'm going dating with my baby! Wow~~~ after such a long long time it's like finally we're going tmr. Well we are going to spend our 7th month out tmr as the actual day we have school. I can't wait for my birthday celebration at MBS! =D I hope I'll enjoy myself there and have a happy time there. So excited man!! I really miss all my friends and that is where I can meet all of them. Hahaha! good thing about birthdays huh?


sigh... I'm feeling hungry now and I'm running out of ideas what to blog about. =.='' LOL guess what my boyfriend just asked me ''rj xie bu gou ar? (you haven't had enough of writing rj?) " I was like no... rj and blog different.. LOL~~ but kinda true because after every module we have to reflect on what we have learn. Some times the questions are so hard that it becomes so annoying to answer. Hmm... I wonder if I should watch megamind. Heard that it is a funny show. Oh well I shall see.. =) alright shall stop here... tata!

It's been a really really long long time since I've blog! =x oh man!! poor blog of mine been rotting for ages. =x alright I've lots to blog about. But then again everyone who is in facebook do know what my life is been too.. Well lots of change since last june or july. =) I've been to new school, learning new things and stressing at the same time. My life totally changed too. As in I think I've found the perfect guy in my life. I'm always whinning about my looks and size. Well till now yes. But I've seen someone who is with me now really do accept me for who I am. I'm really very happy to have this guy in my life. As you all know his name is Alvin Low Yong Wee. =) yes you baby. I'm so in love with you, you know. =)


The most surprising part is my family members all take a liking to him. Esp my parents which I really didn't expect that to happen. But he is a really good boy. Though he's younger than me but he knows how to think maturely. This mature thinking of him is the culprit that captured my heart. As all of you know that I won't date a guy who is younger than me. But..... I didn't expect myself to be so attracted and falling madly in love with this boy who happens to be 2 years younger than me. I remembered when I first broke the news to my friends all of them was shocked. =) hahas... that's right shocked why? not because I had many ex-es but because he is my first boyfriend to be younger than me. >.< hahas! They were all like ''Are you serious?'' because I really insisted on not having a boyfriend who is younger than me as my impression of them is younger = unmatured so a big nono. =) But I was wrong I've decided to take this big change in my life. And now I see seriously that I wasn't wrong to make this decision. I was glad I did. Because no one showed me how you could actually loved someone so much that even your family could really like him as their daughter's boyfriend too.


It's really a big difference to see that when your family accepts your boyfriend or girlfriend you'll feel double loved. Both from your family and your partner. I'm really happy with my life right now that I feel that everyday my life is so beautiful. =) Okays alright I shall stop with my love story least you guys get bored. ^.^ Right now I'm studying in republic poly. I've realised that poly life is so much more stressful compared to ITE. I've always whine about how I wanted to get into poly so badly. But eventually I really miss ITE so much. I guess I really hated ITE environment that's why due to some reasons. But I seriously miss all my ITE friends so much. I miss all their nonsense I miss us all going to break together and also going home together. I miss all the fun we have together. ='( I hope I can dig out my spare time to go out with them again. I'm so busy with school and also so tired. Once school starts my schedules gets so hectic and I can even rest like as if I'm on a long vacation.


This December I have to help mum with the housework due to chinese new year spring cleaning. sigh... Then after that January come I need to study and get prepared for my UT3 which is the most important test to let me know if I can go to year 2 or not. I'm pretty afraid I can't make it because of the module that is so difficult for me to understand and pass it. Sigh.. But of course I'll try my best. I feel that in poly I can't have much time to spend it with my close friends. Why? Because during weekdays which is school day I won't go out as I finish school as late as 4pm. And by the time I travel home it's already 5 plus 6pm. I practically spend like almost 8 hours in school and I have no time for my personal time. So it's like I have my dinner watch a bit of tv then I'll head for bed. Then weekends I'll be so shag to go out and of course I'll spend it with my boyfriend. So I find it really hard to meet up with my buddies. So when it's holiday I'll make it a point to meet all of them. I'm so sorry guys that I can't spend time with you all. I hope you all understand okays! I still miss and love you guys.. =) oh well..


Alright it's 11.17pm and I'm having my test tmr. So I shall stop here and try to blog as often as I can okays? I so miss my darling (mei ling) right now! =) I miss her laughter I miss bullying her I miss everything about her! I'm glad I having my 21st birthday at MBS. I'm sorry if I didn't invite you guys because I'm just making a small party and it's a limited space to sleep over. But if you guys wanna come down do drop me a msg okays! alright I gotta go now. Bye! =)

WOW!!! finally i'm back to blog... my blog has been rotting ages away~~~~ wooo hoooo~~~ =D well i guess there's lots to blog but i'm wayyyyyy tooo lazy to even do so... aii yooo!!! well all i can say is i'm doing well..... totally loving my class w14f!! and right now got myself a goody good boyfriend! and guess what? he's younger than me.. omg~!! seriously i was quite surprised that i would actually accept a guy younger than me when it's like a nono in liyan's dictionary... hahas... but so far we've been together fer 1 mth plus already... our r/s still stable.. though we've already seen our downs alrdy.. but i guess we will be able to treasure each another... oh well i just hope it won't be like any of it in the past.. some how or rather sometimes i still sort of regret why i was soo silly to do so much fer zien.. i would rather do it fer my baby now... at least he knows how to appreciate it...

oh well it's too late fer me to regret too.. but right now all i can say is i love my baby right now and i'm appreciating every single thing he has done fer me and i will definitely treasure him... and i seriously miss my ite classmates very much... and my best friends too! i need to arrange my schedule to meet them in june!!!! and yes w14f's chalet is coming up!! wooo hooo~~~ looking forward fer it!!! =D alright shall stop here... too lazy alrdy... nite nite! bye bye!! and yes it's last day of school tmr!!! woooo hooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

well it's been really awhile since i've last blog.. hahas.. well forgot to announced but i guess most of you guys know i got into poly!! wooohooo!!! i got into RP... today is like my 5th day of school... having fun and stuffs.... well had made a few friends... all of them are cute and bubbly... but only 1 guy we know he is ''gorilla''... okays he was nicknamed by us larhz... because first he looks like one and secondly i guess he behaves like one?? hahaas... oh well... this guy seriously got issues larhz.... crazy one.. soo inmature and stuff... nv co-operate and stuff... irritating shit... i'm feeling soo damn exhausted but i can't sleep yet... why? stupid zien say want to get hp from me... but he go out... basket~~~=.='' anyways... it's been like a mth since his rejection.. the pain still lingers...

i can't say i'm totally healed... perhaps the schedule and timing now and stuff doesn't allows me to think so much about him... oh well.. at least i'm happy that he truly likes that girl and stuff.. but of course when he tell me stuffs about her i'll get hurt again... sigh... it's soo hard to find such a good guy but once found... he'll never be yours... super annoying... =.='' what i can say now is i want to work hard score well, and definitely aim for the best in my 3 years in poly... i hope i can do well and grad with a diploma... in fact i'm pretty proud of myself that i manage to get into poly and i never felt so happy before and of course right NOW no one dares to look down at me anymore... i've proven myself... =) alright shall go and bathe... very smelly after a whole day in school.. alright gotta bounce~~ tata!

it's official... he has rejected me... he liked another girl... i'm just not even worth in his heart.. i just feeel a sudden pain in my heart... like so pain.. literally pain... did so much.. but it's really all in vain... 5 hours of doing the album.... thinking of wad gift i should get him.... it has all went to vain... surprise cake too... all has went to vain... i'm sad to say... i'm soo silly to liked a guy all this time who didn't liked me... not even a single bit... it's soo tormenting!!! i dun understand why guys can take it soo lightly... where as... why am i the only one soo stupid to put my whole heart into it??? everytime when i truly put my heart into it, it always comes crashing down straight to my face... why does this thing always happens??? i hate it... i hate my life! i hate being me! *Cries* i never felt soo rejected like anything... from today on... i'm going to start a new life... life has to go on no matter how painful it is... *cries*

i hate it i hate it i hate it!!! i hate people accusing me!! i hate it!!! its so fucking irritating.... pretending they now me so well and thinks i'm that kind of person.... FUCKING SHIT!!!! i hate it because no fucking people understands wad i'm thinking or wad i'm planning... ESPECAILLY WHEN IT COMES TO STUDIES! no one is dare to give support or to encourage me to take the course i want... everything is being planned for me!!! soo what's the point of me to be living in this world... since i'm so useless and all then i shldn't be fucking born into this world... i really hate my useless pathetic life.. can someone please help me???? i just want to prove that i can be independent and all.. but my results i definitely not going to get me anywhere... no one encouages me... not even my family....

just feel so lonely sometimes...

i thought i could rely on HIM sometimes... but it's soo difficult.... HE told me that we could chat online today during HIS working hour.. even said we could webcam.... in the end.. HE was busy chatting with HIS friends ignoring me... like wtf.. take soo long to reply and stuff... i was very tired ytd after outing with my frns at pulau ubin and all.. but i still care fer HIM and thought of HIM and i purposely set my alarm so i could wake up and chat with HIM for 2 hrs... but it was fucking waste of my time and effort... i guess all guys are the same huh?? they go for looks of the girls and not the heart... no matter how much effort i've put in... it's never appreciated... i shld have not relied on HIM in the first place... i realise it's soo hard to get someone's love in return... not to mention about guy's love but family's love too... yea i know i can get wad i want in a way... but wad about support's love? wad about the family love when it comes to my future???

there's no love at all except look downs... they say this but they do another... it's soo hypocrite.... i hate it... really hate it... my head hurts i do not know why... but i've to start to prepare to face everything alone... i cannot rely on anybody anymore... no more!!! everything in my life is all fakes except for some... i'll have to work hard and get everything on my own... i hate my life... i just want to work hard earn my own $$ and i'll live on my own... all i can say is whoever is reading this you will never understand my pain and thoughts because you're not me.... and the only person who understands the true me is ME MYSELF AND I!